Jean Jacket
by hazelbaum
Summary: Kevin only has this last summer before everyone goes away to school to tell Edd how he feels. Can Kevin do it? Will Edd reject him? Is a summer romance in the cards for the two boys? (This is a KevEdd story!) (Cover art by arielagam)
1. Jean Jacket

A/N:

 _Hello! So this is my first fic I've written and posted here. This fic is inspired by a song by one of my favorite bands, The Summer Set, on their newest album called Stories for Monday. The song is obviously called Jean Jacket. Go give it a listen! This is originally planned to be a one shot, in a series of one shots, but depending on feedback and how I feel I might come back to this and make it a chapter fic. I'm currently working on my first chapter fic and will be posting it here soon! Any questions, comments, and concerns please don't hesitate to leave a review or send me a message. Follow me on tumblr (same username) for updates and sneak peeks! Thank you! Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

It was senior year when Kevin and Edd became close. They had a lot of classes together, almost all AP; Kevin was smarter than he let on. They shared their first class, AP Chemistry, and were assigned as lab partners for the entirety of the year. Their class was rather small, only 12 students total, as not many dared to take the rigorous course. It was there that their friendship blossomed.

They hadn't been enemies or anything; in all honesty, Kevin hadn't bothered with the Eds, or most of the cul-de-sac, since junior high school. He put aside his bullying days his freshmen year, deciding it was time for him to put his head on straight and take school seriously. Ever since his dad passed away in middle school, Kevin started to tease and bully the Eds and anyone else that got in his way in order to cope with his dad's passing. He knew he needed to do better once he got into high school, though, because his future depended on it. His mom couldn't afford to send him to college, so he needed to help make it more affordable. The only things his dad left behind after he died were his motorcycle, and his old jean jacket, something that the man was never seen without. He specifically asked that those things be left to Kevin for him to 'remember his old man' by. The last night Kevin ever saw him alive, his dad told him that he needed to take care of his mom. Despite this, he didn't quite understand what his dad meant until certain issues, such as money and college, showed him he was going to have to grow up a little faster than most other kids his age. College was going to be expensive if he didn't manage to get some sort of scholarship, so Kevin pushed himself to study harder, forcing himself into every sport his schedule would allow, and making him put aside his petty bullying. He became a new man at age of 15; it only took him 4 years after his dad had passed for him to realize this is what he had to do if he wanted to help his mom.

From there on out, Kevin focused on his future. He didn't party with his teammates; he thought parties to be a waste of time that could be spent better studying. The redhead didn't even have a girlfriend for the entirety of his high school years. However, he still attended all the school dances, but only because Nazz insisted that it was his duty as the school's star athlete, and because she was still his best friend after all these years. If it wasn't for her, he would never have gone. They both even shared the same mindset about school, especially since Nazz lost her mom at a young age. Kevin trusted her, and he knew she would not push him into anything he didn't want to do. They were basically like brother and sister by the time they got to high school, and if it weren't for Nazz, easy-going as she was, Kevin would have probably spent what little free time he had left locked up in his room, reading books or doing homework. She made him go out and live, and he thanked her for that. She always told him he was too serious for his own good and he needed to loosen up at least a bit, even if it was only the two of them hanging out together.

Nazz was the only person Kevin ever cared about, and that was enough for him. He figured that they would be life-long friends, and Nazz was worth all the time they spent together. He didn't want to deal with all the emotions that came with broken friendships after everyone went off to college, so Kevin kept everyone else at a distance. That was until he shared most of his classes with the smartest of the Eds.

The lab partnership in AP Chem was just the right catalyst for deeper feelings to take root. They spent so many late nights working on projects and studying together; Kevin found that Edd was very easy to work with. More often than not, he realized, he actually looked forward to going to Double D's house after practice, just to work on homework or whatever project their AP teachers sprung on them. It wasn't until about 2 months into the school year that Kevin could finally admit to himself he really enjoyed Edd's company. Before then, he had not realized just how lonely he had been, studying by himself. Come January, he confessed this to Edd, and in turn, Edd said he felt the same, and that he was glad he had Kevin to keep him company.

After that mutual confession, the boys became completely inseparable. They found they had a lot in common, and what few things they didn't share, the other was always interested in learning about it, which both broadened their horizons as well as expanding their knowledge and appreciation of one another. By the time graduation came around, Kevin finally came to terms with his feelings. He realized he had fallen for the brainiac and that he couldn't let himself leave for school, despite the fact his college of choice was just an hour and a half away, without at least telling Double D how he felt about him. Kevin was going to go against everything he did throughout high school, all on the slim chance that Edd might feel the same. But he had to take the risk, he just had to know. Well, technically, he wasn't breaking any of his rules; high school was officially over for him. Nonetheless, Kevin knew he only had this one last summer to act, before everyone left.

It was two weeks into their final summer before Kevin finally worked up the courage to tell Edd how he felt about him. He marched up to his door one cool June evening, just before sunset. He wore his favorite, tight blue jeans that fit him so perfectly, it was like they were made for the redhead. He also wore his black chucks, and a snug, lime green t-shirt. Lastly was his dad's old, worn jean jacket, and his signature red hat he was never seen without. Kevin decided he was going to ask Edd to go for a ride with him on his dad's old bike, so he could take him up to a hill near the dump that oversaw the whole town. Kevin was aware of Double D's fondness for stargazing, and he was going to use that to his advantage. By taking Edd to the best view in town, he hoped it would help him to show his true feelings for the smaller boy. Kevin took in one last breath, and knocked. Not 5 seconds later, Double D answered the door, to be greeted by a slightly flushed Kevin.

"Greetings, Kevin! To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence on this fine evening?" Edd said, smiling that absolutely adorable gapped-tooth smile that Kevin had fallen head-over-heels for not all that long ago.

"Uh, hey, I was w-wondering if maybe, if you weren't busy or anything, you would wanna go for a ride with me?" Kevin said, motioning toward the motorcycle parked behind him in the driveway. He quickly added, "Only if you want to, though." Kevin, now slightly more embarrassed by his nervousness, rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that wasn't holding his hat.

Edd's eyes widened at the sudden request, and he blushed, "Of course, Kevin; it seems like a lovely evening for a ride! L-let me just get changed into something more appropriate for this outing." Edd appeared to already be dressed for bed, sporting a pair of blue basketball shorts and a grey tank top. And he smiled, that perfect smile that always made Kevin's heart melt.

"Choice!" Was all Kevin could get his mouth to say.

Edd left the doorway, leaving the door open behind him. Kevin heard him run upstairs, rummaging around a bit before running back down the stairs a few minutes later. He was now dressed in a pair of chucks like Kevin's, a pair of blue jeans with the left knee worn out, and a red, long-sleeved v-neck shirt that put his perfectly protruding collar bone on display. Kevin swallow nervously when he noticed it. Lastly, his black beanie sat fittingly upon his head. Kevin couldn't help but admire how breathtaking this boy looked. The redhead damned everything to hell if he couldn't make this boy his.

"Okay, I'm ready when you are," Edd said, pulling the door shut behind him. He then proceeded to ask, "So Kevin, where are we going tonight?"

Edd took the spare helmet Kevin handed to him. He knew Double D wasn't nervous, or so he hoped; Edd had been on his motorcycle a few times before, but never after dark. It had always been in broad daylight when he had ridden with him.

Kevin hopped on the bike and turned around, just enough to pat the seat behind him as he spoke, "It's a surprise, dork." He added a wink for extra effect.

Edd shook his head with a smile at the sound of the old insult, now said with affection, as he got on the seat just behind Kevin. Double D tried, and failed, to cover the giggle that escaped from his lips.

With Edd on the bike, his arms wrapped securely around Kevin's waist, Kevin kicked up the kickstand, bringing the engine roaring to life. Kevin loved when Edd rode with him, and though it had only happened a few times, it always felt so intimate. It was completely unlike when anyone else rode with him. Kevin was determined to make this night memorable, even if Double D rejected him. He would look back at this moment proudly, remembering that he was capable of planning something thoughtful and romantic, even if it would all turn out to be for naught. Kevin didn't want any regrets to come out of this evening. It was now or never, he thought, and it was high time he manned up and told this boy that he loved him.

Yes, love. Kevin knew his feelings were far beyond a simple crush. He never wanted Edd to leave his life, he was sure of this. He acknowledged that maybe it wasn't romantic love just yet, but he knew he loved Edd enough so that he genuinely cared about his well being, and who he was as a person. He recognized and accepted the difference between those loves, and he knew he wasn't ready to say those three little words to Double D yet. He thought if he did, Edd would likely take Kevin to mean the more romantic definition behind those words, and he knew he had to wait for when the time came that it was right before he said them; he didn't want to scare Edd away.

Kevin was doubly aware that he wanted Edd in a sexual way. He couldn't quite place his finger on what exactly it was about the brainiac that turned him on. There was his absolutely a _dork_ able gapped-tooth smile that did things to the redhead that he didn't quite understand yet. Then, his inky black tangled locks that Kevin only got glances of in the locker room when they changed for PE, that reminded him strongly of someone who just sat up after sex. There was his perfectly pale skin, his bright blue eyes that reflected the depths of oceans, even his perfectly round, bubbly ass…he could go on and on. He couldn't help but stare at him whenever he had the chance. Kevin knew he had to do this right if he truly wanted to prove to Double D that he was serious about this.

Kevin turned off of the busy street and onto a dirt frontage road that led towards the dump. It would eventually turn into the rocky trail that led up to the hill that was his destination. Edd's gripped tightened around Kevin's waist as he made the last turn onto the gravel trail. It took all of Kevin's self control not to stop the bike right there and kiss Edd's stupid face silly, claiming him as his own.

Kevin pulled up to the top of the hill next to a big oak tree. He cut the engine, leaning his motorcycle to one side to rest on the kickstand. He waited for Double D to climb off before he swung his leg over to join him. Kevin simply stared as Edd took off the helmet, shaking the hair that stuck out from under his beanie as the sun set in the background. Kevin was mesmerized. He didn't even realize he was staring until he heard the smaller boy clear his throat and waved his hand at an attempt to get his attention. Kevin looked up to meet Edd's gaze.

"Sorry," he chuckled softly, "I just kinda spaced out there for a second," Kevin said as he went to take off his own helmet.

"Kevin, what are we doing way up here?" Edd said with a shy smile, handing the helmet he'd been wearing over to Kevin.

The redhead turned around, back toward his motorcycle, placing both helmets on the bike as he reached for the saddle bag. He retrieved an old quilt, folding it over his forearm. He motioned toward a spot right at the center of the very top of the hill, and said, with that charming smile of his, "I thought we could watch the sunset and maybe watch the stars come out tonight."

Edd smiled that smile again, and Kevin wondered if Edd knew what that smile did to him, "That sounds lovely, Kevin."

Kevin shook out the old blanket as he laid it down on the grass before them. Edd went to sit down, when Kevin suddenly stopped him, "Wait!" He blurted out, startling the poor boy, "I ,uh, sorry, didn't mean to make you jump. There's, uh, something I need to say first," Kevin said as he removed his hat from his head, running his fingers through his red hair, his hand sliding down to rub at the base of his neck, like he always did when he was nervous.

Edd looked at him with those wide, inquisitive eyes. Ah, those endless blues Kevin swore he could swim in for days. How he hoped he would become the reason they shined so brightly each and every time he smiled. Edd stood there silently waiting for Kevin to continue.

Kevin cleared his throat, trying to prevent the blush that he knew was slowly creeping across his cheeks, "Look, uh, the thing is that I. . . I," Kevin paused trying to work his courage back up, "The thing is this. . . I like you, D. I really like you. I couldn't stand the thought of going away to school and maybe never seeing you again, and being stuck with these feelings and, a-and regret not telling you how I really feel. And how I feel is that I really like you, and I want you to be someone special for me, and me for you. That is, if you feel the same way I do."

The redhead looked down at his feet, releasing the breath he had been holding in. He inhaled deeply through his nose, before looking back up at the boy he just confessed his feelings to: this absolutely beautiful boy that he truly hoped wouldn't break his heart. God, he hoped with everything he had that Edd at least felt something. Kevin didn't think he could take it if Double D broke his heart right then and there. He proceeded to stare at those wide blue eyes, the same ones that made him weak in the knees whenever they met his own.

He watched as Double D opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, as he looked down at his feet. Kevin couldn't take it anymore and said softly, "Please, please…just say something. Anything. Please."

Edd looked up to meet Kevin's sparkling, emerald eyes. Edd's face was completely flushed as he spoke, "Kevin, I r-really don't know what to say. After all this time, I thought. . . I thought I was crazy to think, a-a-and hope, that we could ever be more than friends," Edd paused and swallowed, "that you of all people could harbor such feelings for me. Never, no, never in my wildest dreams had I believed that it could ever be possible, and for y-you to just unload this on me now, I. . . Frankly, I'm not quite sure what to do."

Kevin could feel tears start to well up in his eyes. He couldn't let Edd see him cry; not like this. He closed the distance between them in one step, and in one swift movement, pulled Double D into a tight embrace, both his arms wrapped snugly around the smaller boy's shoulders. He leaned his head down, burying his face into the crook of Double D's neck. Kevin shook as a sob began to escape his throat, when he pleaded into Edd's ear, voice breaking, "Just say yes, D. Just say you want me too. Please."

He could feel Double D give in to the embrace, nuzzling his face into Kevin's broad chest, followed by a warm, wet feeling seeping through his shirt. Edd brought his arms up next to his face, balling his hands up in Kevin's shirt. He sobbed loudly, hiccupping out, "K-K-Kevin! I want you too!"

Kevin immediately pulled Edd tighter against him, one hand slipping to the small of Edd's back. He could feel Edd push off his chest slightly as he brought one hand up to cup Kevin's cheek. He slowly slid his hand up to grip the back of Kevin's neck, pulling the jock's face down to meet his lips. It was perfect; it was everything Kevin could have ever hoped for. It was so sweet, so gentle, Edd's lips felt so soft against his. After only a few seconds, that felt more like minutes to him, Kevin pulled away. Edd's lips were slightly parted, revealing his adorable gap, eyes were still closed. He could see the dork's full eyelashes brush the tops of his cheeks, pink from blushing, and the visible tracks of tears running down them. Kevin decided right then, no matter what, he would never do anything to make Edd cry again. He grabbed Edd's face in his hands, tilting his own head slightly to the left, and he went in for a much deeper, second kiss. Kevin could feel him press into his lips even harder, standing on his tip toes to gain better access. Kevin parted his lips faintly and found his mouth already being tasted by Double D's tongue. He couldn't believe that Edd was being so forward, making the first move like this. Fireworks went off in Kevin's head; this was it, he thought, this was the boy he loved and wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

The kiss ended all too quickly, both boys panting to catch their breath. Edd reached up to wipe Kevin's wet cheeks, the hem of his sleeve pulled over his palm, and Kevin in turn wiped away Edd's with his thumbs. The redhead pressed their foreheads together, as they stood silently, breathing each other in for the next few minutes. Edd spoke first as they slowly pulled apart, arms still wrapped around one another's body, "You know, Kevin, I never had any idea that a kiss could feel like that." Edd smiled as wide as he could, blushing brighter as he looked into the redhead's green eyes.

It was Kevin's turn to speak, "Me neither D, me neither."

They spent their first evening together stargazing, cuddling, and sharing sweet, innocent kisses. Kevin was on cloud nine. He couldn't believe after several months of fighting with his own emotions, that finally, he had his brainiac. Even more astounding was the fact that his brainiac was more than happy to have him as his. And for the rest of the evening, Kevin didn't think about having to leave his home for school in three unpleasantly short months. He didn't think about how September would arrive sooner than either of them could stand.

When they got their fill of stargazing that night, Kevin kicked himself internally for not telling Double D to dress warmer. He knew it would get really cold on his bike this late at night. As such, he decided to give Edd his jean jacket to wear on the ride home, as the boy was already shivering subtly from the breeze that came over the hill. Kevin couldn't help but think his new boyfriend looked so damn cute in it, too. Edd would become the only person, other than himself, allowed to wear that sentimental jean jacket he cherished so.

As the 4th of July came around, the boys finally spoke those three words to one another, and made love for the first time at their spot on the hill, the glow of the fireworks show the only light around. They spent the whole night wrapped in nothing but a blanket, and Edd would insisted on only wearing Kevin's jean jacket as they basked in the sweat of their afterglow, whispering quiet 'I love you's' over and over again until the sun had risen the next morning. That same weekend, Kevin had finally fixed up Edd's dad's old corvette that had just been sitting in the garage collecting dust. They drove it out to the beach that same night, and swam in the lake naked together. Afterwards, they made love for a second time, in the back seat of the corvette. It was even better than the first. On the drive back, with the top down on the car, Edd began to feel cold, so he reached into the back seat for Kevin's jean jacket to wear. He fell asleep with his head resting in Kevin's lap before he even managed to reach the highway. When the redhead pulled into Double D's drive way that night, Edd woke up and begged for Kevin to stay. He pleaded for Kevin not to let him sleep alone that night, and for every night after that, Kevin would stay at Edd's or Edd would stay at Kevin's, with the jean jacket hung up on either boys' desk chair, as they undressed to make love.

Most of their summer destinations were reached in that old corvette, that broke down at some of the worst times (or the best times, when things got a bit steamy), or on Kevin's bike. They spent every Saturday at the lake, and went to their spot on the hill almost every night to end yet another perfect day. Edd would wear in the redhead's jean jacket as wrapped up warmly in each other's arms. Kevin's jacket was there for almost all their firsts, and unbeknownst to Kevin, all of their lasts.

The first Sunday in September, Kevin woke up in his bed alone for the first time in over 2 months. Something was wrong. He looked over to his alarm clock to see an envelope with his name written on it in Edd's perfect, cursive handwriting. He opened it carefully to reveal a letter that read:

 _Kevin,_

 _I love you so much, but I'm afraid that this is goodbye. This summer was a gift that I didn't think anyone could ever be capable of giving me, and I am forever grateful for the love that you gave me. It's because of that, that I have to let you go. You deserve to be happy and you shouldn't be strung along for an agonizing long distance relationship that would only ruin the beautiful love we shared this summer. You should be free, Kevin, and I would only hold you back. This is so hard for me, letting you go, but I feel I must. I only ask one thing of you- be happy without me, Kevin._

 _I will love you always,_

 _Edd_

His heart dropped. He couldn't believe what he just read. It wasn't real; it couldn't be. He jumped out of bed, throwing on the first pair of pants he could find as he ran out the door. He didn't even care that he wasn't wearing shoes or a shirt. He ran to Edd's door and began to pound on it, yelling out Edd's name. He beat on the door so hard he feared he might put a hole in it, when he remembered the secret spare key hidden under a rock. He began to look around for the familiar rock, fumbling with the key in the knob before he finally got it open, calling out to Double D in the seemingly-abandoned house. He began checking all the rooms for his boyfriend, ending his desperate search in Edd's bedroom. It was completely empty, except for the bare bed and the desk. Kevin could see an old cork board hung up over Edd's desk, covered in tacks that once held maps and pictures of places Edd wanted to visit, and those that Kevin decided that they would go together. He turned around and saw that Edd's book shelves were barren, no books and no insects upon them any longer. Kevin looked back over to Edd's desk, when his eyes landed on the back of the rolling chair, where his jean jacket hung. Kevin reached for it and held it in his balled up fists. He brought it to his face; it still smelled like him. It still smelled like Edd, like his Double D.

Kevin cried. He yelled out, but no one was there to answer. He punched a hole in the wall above Edd's desk. His boyfriend was gone. The man Kevin wanted in his life forever, had left him.

All summer long, neither had brought up the subject of their college plans. It was a topic they avoided, but Kevin didn't realize until now that he had no idea where Edd was going to attend school. He absolutely hated himself for not asking. He knew Double D already knew where Kevin was going. _Damnit, why didn't Edd at least mention it or something_ , he thought. This way Kevin would know, and he could be on his bike tonight to talk some sense into his brainiac. He didn't want to accept Edd's goodbye. Kevin had a sudden realization, and he ran out of Edd's house, closing the door behind as he ran back into his house. He went up to his room, grabbing his phone and quickly dialling Edd's number. He disconnected his phone. . . Kevin tried every form of contact he could think of to reach Double D. He sent countless emails to every account he knew Edd used, but they all sent back error messages in a matter of minutes, saying the email address was either incomplete or invalid. All social media pages Edd used were deactivated, or unable to be found.

If Kevin didn't think it was physically possible before, he did at that moment. Edd broke his heart, and he never saw it coming. His Edd made sure of that, too.

Kevin woke up to the beeping of his alarm clock. He always knew he was going to have a terrible day when he dreamt about Edd the night before, especially when he realized he was snuggling that old jean jacket. Yeah, that jacket he used to let _him_ wear. His dreams were always about that amazing summer they shared that seemed to have taken place in a different lifetime. Often, Kevin wondered if he imagined it all, the only thing convincing him that it happened was _that jacket_. He had not seen Edd since the night before that horrendous morning, when his heart was broken to pieces by the only person he ever loved. Almost 8 years had passed, and Kevin's heart still ached. He would find himself mumbling under his breath, to no one but himself, "Where did you go, Edd?" As he held on to his jean jacket for dear life, like it could somehow bring Double D back to him.

It was just a few months short of 8 years when Kevin would see his Edd again.

* * *

 _So what'cha think? Should I continue? ;)_

 _Thanks for reading! Please review!_


	2. Eine kleine Nachtmusik

_**A/N:**_

 _So Jean Jacket is officially going to be a multi chapter story! I want to thank everyone that read and reviewed the first chapter and it's thanks to you guys that I decided to continue this story. I don't anticipate there being a lot of chapters to this because I'm going to keep the chapters kinda lengthy to remain consistent. But who knows!? I'll be posting updates on the status of this story and my other one on my tumblr (same username) if you guys wanna check it out._

 _I want to warn you that there is like no dialogue in this chapter because it was the only way I felt I could tell the story, so sorry if it's kinda boring and not your thing. Bare with me, it going to get better! And this chapter was completely inspired by Mozart's Eine kleine Nachtmusik: First Movement in Allegro! (If you haven't heard it you probably should, but you've probably heard it 'cause it's super famous.)_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, and Eddy or any of the characters. This story is of my own original thoughts inspired by music!_

* * *

Edd set his bow down on the music stand in front of him for what would be one of the last times, because tonight would be the last show of the season and his swan song. Edd couldn't be more grateful for the 6 long years the London Philharmonic Orchestra gave him.

In his sophomore year of college his maestro had convinced him to try out for the viola opening. Edd was reluctant to audition at first because he didn't want to get his hopes up only to be rejected. Getting the spot would be a dream come true, a dream he never imagined he could actually achieve. The maestro of his college orchestra assured Edd that he was very talented and would likely get the spot or at least a spot as a sub. So Edd took a chance and tried out. After his audition he felt proud that even if he didn't get the spot he could walk away content because he got the chance to play for one of the world's most prestigious orchestras and he might have even been considered for the spot. A week later he received a call to come rehearse the next day as their new 6th chair violist! Edd was ecstatic. So, he left his college's small orchestra for the London Philharmonic.

He had moved up 2 chairs since then. His fellow violist no longer teased him for being one of the youngest players. Edd even became good friends with a cellist, a second violinist, and a percussionist. Life had been good to Edd since leaving Peach Creek. He attended a small private college where he studied biology and music theory. His two passions in life. And even acquired a teaching degree so he had something to fall on.

When Edd received notice that his dream college in London had accepted him and was offering a substantial academic scholarship early in his senior year of high school he was over the moon. He was finally going to leave Peach Creek and he was more than willing to leave everyone behind. He almost couldn't believe that something was going the way he wanted. He was going to be surrounded by like minded individuals and following his dreams. Gone would be the days that Edd would be under someone's thumb doing what they wanted. For once in his lonely life Edd was getting the recognition and attention he deserved from his school of choice in his dream location. London.

At the age of 12 Edd's parents urged him to play a musical instrument. They believed playing music has an important discipline for the boy to have. Only later did Edd realize it was all a ruse to keep the small boy busy. They told Edd they only wanted what was best for him and were willing to do anything for him to be the best even if that meant leaving him to raise himself once he was old enough to be left alone. They insisted Edd play a stringed instrument. So he was left with few choices- the ever popular violin, the great deep that was the bass, the tempting beast of the cello, and finally, there was the lonely last one ever picked, the viola.

And that's what Edd chose. He felt the instrument suited him perfectly. The viola had the ability to be as tear evoking as the world's saddest violin and as soul wrenchingly rich as a Yo-Yo Ma cello concerto. The viola was versatile and often overlooked just like him. Edd understood the instrument's beauty and pain, and it fueled his passion and will to learn to play the viola to the best of his ability. The strings demanded respect and Edd gave it and in turn the viola sang for him whenever he played. His love for the odd instrument would be unparalleled to anything else.

Edd turned out to be a natural and something of a prodigy. His parents started him on private lessons three times a week, but Edd quickly mastered the basics in just 9 short months and also outgrew his teacher. His parents were proud, but shortly shown disappointment when they couldn't find a replacement teacher that could keep up with Edd's advancing. So the small boy began to teach himself and did pretty well on his own, but the loneliness began to eat at him. Edd wanted more than just playing quietly to himself. He wanted to be a part of something greater. So his parents got him involved in a local youth orchestra in the neighboring town. A car was arranged to pick him up and take him to rehearsals and performances because his parents were never home to take him or see his shows. He would come home after performances to a card to congratulate him on the show and that's the only acknowledgement he received from them when it came to his musical abilities.

Edd quickly learned why the viola was often overlooked when playing in a full orchestra with strings, woodwinds, brass, and percussion all involved. It left little of the melody to be played by the viola section. The viola almost never got the melody or hardly an interesting harmony. Not to mention all the music they played was at a difficulty level Edd could have played in his sleep. He was easily the the most advanced player amongst the 50 or so 13 to 18 year olds that made up the orchestra.

Edd was 14 when he joined and only stuck around throughout high school to keep busy and because his school didn't have an orchestra, let alone a music department. Edd also got the chance to play in front of a crowd. A crowd that would cheer him on even if it wasn't directed toward him but something he was a part of. He could pretend for just a moment that his parents were sitting in the audience just beaming with pride for their son.

Even without the guidance of a private lesson teacher Edd continued to grow in his playing. He convinced his parents to get him a cello and a violin so he could master them too, but eventually grew bored with them and returned to his viola. Edd filled his quiet lonely time with concertos and suites of the greatest musical minds that ever lived. They would be his company, his teachers, when no one else was around to hear, not that anyone ever was.

Once Edd dedicated all his free time to music by his freshman year he left behind his childhood friends, the Eds. Yes, he knew his loneliness would only grow, but he knew his friends would never understand what he felt for the strings on his coveted viola and he could no longer keep his passion a secret from Ed and Eddy. He had played since he was 12 and neither of his friends had inquired about how he spent his only free time nor had they noticed the oddly shaped case that leaned against his desk. Edd even went so far as to leave his viola out and exposed when they visited once and neither boy acknowledged it. All Edd wanted was to be asked about the musical instrument so he could share his passion and the beautiful music he could play. But no, no one ever asked. All Eddy seemed to care about was bossing them around and Ed was too clueless to notice.

No, no one acknowledged the love of Edd's life. Even his parents didn't care once Edd started high school. It was only an attempt on their end to keep the genius boy busy while they were away for work weeks on end. Edd knew the carefully crafted stringed instrument demanded and deserved more respect than that and so did he. So his passion for his viola and the music it commanded would only flourish and continue to burn deep inside him.

There was no doubt that he loved music and that's why London was Edd's dream place to escape to after graduation. He never anticipated he would be a part of the London Philharmonic, just like he never anticipated becoming close friends with a certain redhead in his senior year or even falling completely in love with him the last summer before he left to chase his dream.

When Edd found out the redhead was going to share almost all his classes his senior year, he was honestly a little worried that Kevin would take advantage of him like so many others before, even though Kevin had stopped bullying him and his old friends shortly before high school started. Edd quickly learned he was wrong in judging Kevin like he had, because the redhead had worked just as hard as Edd to get there. When Kevin was assigned to be his lab partner Edd was relieved to discover just how smart he actually was, Kevin could contribute to an intelligent conversation and the redhead was just as dedicated to his education as Edd was.

Edd mentally sighed in relief, though that did little to stop the feelings that Edd thought he had abandoned long ago would come bubbling back to the surface when they became more than lab partners and began studying every night at his empty house. Much to Edd's surprise Kevin would pick Edd to be his partner for many other assignments in their other AP classes. Edd just assumed Kevin picked him out of mere convenience and the fact that they worked well together and lived across the street from each other.

Edd couldn't stop the growing affection he felt toward the redhead, though he tried with his logical side to remind himself that it was highly unlikely that Kevin could honestly return the sentiment and then there was the fact that Edd was planning to leave the country soon to live out his dream. A dream he could never bring himself to share with the athletic redhead. Edd tried to convince himself to be content with the fact that he had become friends with his ex bully/crush. After all they had grown rather close after winter break and Edd openly admitted to Kevin he was glad the redhead was there to keep him company, but only after Kevin said so first. Edd continued to push his true feelings aside to avoid ruining the first friendship he had since he grew apart from Ed and Eddy.

Edd sighed in relief again once graduation came around. He figured he would live out his last summer quietly now that he didn't spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week with his peers and neighbors. Everyone would soon forget about the genius and by fall everyone would move on living their own lives no longer forced to spend time together. But that wasn't to be Edd's case when one early evening in June Kevin knocked on his door asking to hang out. Edd could never say no to the redhead.

When Kevin took him up to the best view in town on his motorcycle Edd only became confused about his intentions. The genius never thought Kevin would wish to remain friends once school was over. Edd always had a small doubt in Kevin's friendship. It's not like Edd's past friendships worked out for him. Even though he and Kevin had grown close in the last school year Edd still believed the redhead had befriended him out of convenience seeing as how there weren't many jocks in their classes let alone almost all of them like he was.

Even after sharing so much time together studying late and working on projects Edd still was a little insecure about holding a long term friendship with Kevin. The redhead would prove the genius wrong time and time again when it came to relationships. When Kevin confessed his feelings for him Edd was shocked and he still somehow doubted the redhead's intentions, but Edd quickly let all logic go when he saw the sincerity in the redhead's twinkling eyes and gave in to his emotions just this one time.

The entire summer was perfect. Kevin shared everything with him, but the genius would never return him the same kindness. Edd locked away his viola in the closet so he wouldn't be tempted to tell Kevin. Edd felt he couldn't share that part of himself with anyone, not even Kevin. As much as he loved Kevin Edd knew if he told him he wouldn't be able to leave the new love of his life in the fall for the first love of his life, his music, his dream. So Edd kept his near future plans to himself. Neither boy discussed the topic of college. They both knew what was coming at the end of their beautiful summer. Kevin would never know what Edd didn't tell him, he would never know how far Edd was actually going to be from him both physically and emotionally.

When the day came that Edd was to leave he couldn't face his boyfriend. He had avoided it all summer. Edd couldn't break his heart, so he decided to break his own and said goodbye forever to the redhead that showed him how to love, how to trust again and how love could be beautiful and it could hurt so much. Edd thought Kevin would be better off without him and he would be doing him a favor by letting him go. So Edd cut off all ties. He deactivated his phone, email, and all social media. He wanted Kevin to forget about him, to love again without him. He deserved it. Edd believed he was doing the right thing, so why did he feel so rotten and dirty for what he did. He knew Kevin deserved someone who could be completely honest and secure with him.

So 8 years later Edd still wondered if he made the right choice as he stared down at his slightly swollen wrist. He proceeded to the storage room behind the stage where the musicians kept their personal belongings and cases during rehearsals and performances. Edd took out his case and set it on the bench opening it to reveal the emerald velvet interior that protected his delicate instrument. He gently nestled his viola in its proper spot securing it with the Velcro strap that went around the neck. He slowly wiped an old cloth over and under the strings and fingerboard to remove dust and rosin residue. He then loosened the bow hair and secured in its proper place in the top half of the case. Edd closed the case fastening the zipper that went around the edge. He retrieved his coat and messenger bag that held his wrist brace and music. As he walked out of the building he fastened the brace over his left wrist and headed to his apartment.

After a short 15 minute walk Edd arrived at his barren apartment. The only things that remained were a few boxes that contained his clothes from the last week that would board the plane with him to Peach Creek tomorrow. Tonight was going to be his last night in London and his last performance as a member of the London Philharmonic Orchestra. Edd was retiring and going back to Peach Creek, not by his choice though.

Edd started to develop tendinitis about 2 years ago. Edd knew it was inevitable, he just didn't think it would come so soon. Since his official diagnosis Edd did what he could to keep the tendinitis at bay, but to no avail. Nothing worked and the pain and swelling only got worse after each performance. By the time his sixth season started his doctor informed him that he needed to retire or he might not be able to play again. So Edd made the difficult decision to leave once the season was over. Edd accepted that he couldn't keep playing as rigorously as he had since coming to London. His left wrist would no longer allow it. Edd decided he would return to his hometown for the time being as a biology teacher at his old high school until he could plan his next move. Maybe he could give music lessons too since his high school never offered music of any sort when he attended. Edd couldn't completely give up music. He would say good bye to his viola for now, but he refused to let it be forever.

Edd's final performance was themed around Mozart. The orchestra had prepared various pieces from the great composer's lifetime. Their grand finale was Eine kleine Nachtmusik: 1st Movement in Allegro. Which was the name of the evening's show, A Little Night Music. Edd couldn't have been more satisfied with the show he put on. He just loved the elated feeling he got when he played. The moment when the notes all swelled together, he just breathed it all in. The melody was passed around briefly by the first violins to the second violins and even to violas and cellos for a few measures. He just took it all in for what would be the last time in this setting. The bellowing of the cellos and basses that made the stage vibrate with life. When everyone all came together to create such beautiful sound those were the moments Edd lived for. All the hours of practicing, counting rests, making his fingers memorize differents positions, playing as quietly as he could, playing as loudly as he could, swaying with each stroke of his bow, the glorious key changes that would relieve a minor key, and every little thing that made playing so enjoyable, so worth every moment of his time he spent with the fingers of his left hand delicately splayed over the fingerboard and his right hand so naturally holding the frog of his bow poised over the strings ready to sing. Edd would miss his dream dearly and silently promised himself to never forget.

The next morning Edd packed his remaining belongings in his suitcase that would board the flight back to Peach Creek. Edd never thought he'd be returning to to his hometown after all these years. He couldn't help his wandering mind that started to grow anxious at the thought of returning to a certain redhead's caring arms as if no time had passed. Edd scolded himself for thinking that Kevin would even still want him after all these years with no contact and not to mention how the genius left him in complete ignorance during the amazing summer they had spent together.

No, there was no way. How could anyone in their right mind still love someone after 8 years with no hint of ever returning to the other? Not even a goodbye was shared. Edd was sure Kevin hated him and probably had moved on since then, but those thoughts did little to keep Edd's poor heart from hoping. Would Kevin even still be there in Peach Creek? How could he be? Kevin had made plans, he had a future set out for himself before he left. Edd tried to listen to his own logic telling him that Kevin had surely left a long time ago and he likely had a family of his own. Yeah, that's probably what Kevin had done. Edd's logic did little to ease his nerves.

Edd arrived late the following night to his childhood home via taxi from the airport. Seeing how his parents still owned the house and it was basically abandoned he took the opportunity of a rent free home for the time being. He didn't want to stay in the house that held so many reminders of his lonely childhood and a love long gone. He was exhausted. Getting his sleep schedule adjusted to the current time zone was going to drain him for the next few days. School was going to start in about two months and he had a lot to do before he was ready to start.

He walked up to his porch and opened the front door. Everything was exactly the same. It was like he had just left yesterday. He set his bags down in front of the closet by the door and trekked up the familiar staircase. When he reached the top and turned to his right to where his bedroom was. He reached out to grab the knob.

It was like time had stood still. He was still alone in a house that didn't feel like home, there was no welcoming parents or loved ones, and the only comfort was the consistency of his routine. He sighed and pushed open the door to his old room. Everything was exactly as he had left it. Except there was a gaping hole in the dry wall above his desk and an envelope pinned to his cork board.

Edd approached his desk slowly. Everything went quiet. His heart skipped a beat when he recognized the familiar chicken scratch handwriting on the front of the envelope that read his name. Edd's hands began to tremble as he carefully removed the tack that held the letter in place. He opened it slowly to reveal a letter from the redhead. It read:

 _Edd,_

 _I don't know why you left or what made you decide to leave the way you did, but I want you to know I don't hate you one bit, in fact, I've realized I will always love you. There is no one else out there for me but YOU, even if you don't feel the same. I just wish you had told me. You know I would have followed you anywhere._

 _Edd, I've written this letter thousands of times for the past 4 years hoping you would return home after you finished school and as many times as I've written this letter I still don't know how to tell you how much you mean to me. I can't let you go and I'll never accept the letter you left me. I'll always love you D. I'll always wait for the day you come home to me again._

 _I love you forever,_

 _Kevin_

The letter was dated 4 years ago around the time Edd had graduated college. It had been there waiting for him to come home for 4 years.

For the first time in 8 years Edd cried. He cried out for the the redhead he didn't deserve. His knees buckled under him and he fell to his hands and knees still clutching the letter in his hand. He sobbed loudly to himself for what felt like hours until his throat was raw and his eyes were swollen. When he couldn't cry anymore he set the letter on the empty desk and slowly climbed onto the bed not caring that it didn't have any sheets or blankets. He reached for the letter and stared at it until he fell asleep with new tears in his eyes.

Edd woke up before dawn, but didn't get out of bed until well into the morning. He had actually slept his allotted time, but his body was not feeling like it just got its 8 hours of rest. He stood up and groaned as his achy back and shoulders cracked and popped as they set into a normal position. His throat was sore and his eyes still felt puffy. He went to the bathroom to shower and began his day.

Edd got dressed and went down to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast only to remember he just got back last night which hadn't given him time to go to the grocery store to get what he needed yet. He was in dire need of some caffeine and food if he was going to function at all. Edd closed the fridge door and saw a sticky note from his parents telling him about the car they had recently purchased that was waiting in the garage for use at his leisure and that they were sorry they couldn't be there to welcome him back.

Edd sighed and mumbled under his breath, "Typical. I shouldn't have expected anything more of them."

Edd decided he would make use of the newly acquired vehicle to drive into town to get his groceries and maybe stop at a coffee shop to get his sluggish brain the pick up it needed. He knew the coffee would do little to alleviate the physical exhaustion and would do nothing for the emotional exhaustion he felt. What was he going to do? Should he seek out Kevin? Could they honestly pick up where they left off like nothing had happened? His logical tried to convince him that there was no way, but his heart said otherwise.

He pulled up to a small cafe he faintly remembers studying at after school because he was never in a rush to return to his empty home at least until his senior year when everything had changed. Edd walked into the cafe that only had a couple of elderly people reading the newspaper. Usually this coffee shop would have been filled with teenagers looking to get their pick me up before school, but it was already early afternoon and still summer which meant the mall was probably crawling with angsty teenagers. Edd walked up to the counter and placed his order for a black coffee with sugar and a cake donut. He needed the sugar and carbohydrates.

Edd walked out content with himself. He was still feeling emotionally drained due to the turmoil he had inquired in the short time he had been home, but that was expected. Edd began to open his car door when he thought he heard someone call his name. He looked up and heard it again. His eyes honed in on a tall muscular redhead walking toward his car with their arms raised and waving to get his attention.

Edd froze momentarily when he met the gaze of wide dreamy emerald eyes and that dashing smile. After all this time how could he still captivate him with just one look?

Edd let his coffee and donut fall to the ground as he took off running in the opposite direction before he could give the redhead a chance to approach him.

* * *

 _I just wanted to say that I didn't use his nickname (Double D) because I feel like he's an adult and he would have stopped going by it when he went to London because nobody knew him there._

 _Thanks for reading! Please review! Tell me what you guys think. I love hearing from you!_

 _I also wanted to mention that I put some personal stuff and experiences into this chapter (no, I am not a prodigy, but I did play the viola for many, many years and am barely starting to play again). Hope you liked it!_

 _Hazel out!_


	3. The Way We Were - Part 1

_**A/N:**_

 _Hi guys!_

 _Sorry it's been so long! I got held up by a bit of writer's block and finals. Well now it's SUMMERTIME! So things should be picking up around here for me. This chapter is inspired by yet another The Summer Set song called The Way We Were. I highly recommend giving it a listen!_

 _Just want to say thank you to everyone for all your lovely reviews! They really make my day and I love you guys for it!_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy. This story is of my own original thoughts inspired by music and a couple of filler OCs._

* * *

Kevin stood there in the middle of the street for a moment trying to wrap his head around what had just happened.

"It had to have been him," Kevin thought. Why else would the man run away from him?

* * *

Edd found himself winded after about two blocks so he went into the nearest building he could find which happened to be a diner he vaguely remembered frequenting with the redhead he just ran from.

Double D didn't dare look behind him as pushed the door open to the diner. If Kevin was right behind him he wouldn't know it, nor did he want to. He took a seat in the corner booth facing the door. Hoping that if the redhead had followed him Edd could see him coming first. Not that he could do anything about it anyways.

A waitress approached a flustered Double D and he nearly jumped out of his seat when she introduced herself for the second time.

"Can I get'cha somethin'? How abouta coffee, hun?" the waitress asked.

"Uh, yes. A coffee would be fine, thank you," Edd said as he remembered he dropped his by his car.

"Anything else, dear?"

"No, that will be all. Thank you very much."

Edd's head started to swirl with his thoughts of what had just occurred. He didn't want to eat. He couldn't. The shock of seeing Kevin had been too much for him. It was only his first day back in town and the redhead had already popped back into his life. He wasn't even sure what to make of the letter he discovered yesterday. It had only been last night when his whole world seemed to have been completed shifted all because of a stupid, hopeful letter.

If it even still held any truth to it.

The waitress returned with a pot of coffee to fill his cup and told him if he wanted anything else to let her know.

Edd sighed into his cup of coffee. What was he going to do? Did he still love Kevin? Well, maybe, probably, but it had been so long since they've seen each other, let alone spoken. Edd knew he was solely to blame there.

He knew a part of him had always secretly hoped that Kevin would have found him one day and swept him off his feet. But if Edd was anything, he was efficient. He was careful to not leave any clues or hints of his whereabouts after he left Peach Creek. He was sure even his parents didn't know where he went to school. He had told them, but they never listened.

Things had to have changed for the redhead in all these years apart. How could Kevin even still be the same? Double D was sure he wasn't the same. Things had changed for him. He wasn't the same shy kid he was, was he?

For one, in London Edd got to be his own person for the first time in his life. He was completely independent. He didn't have anyone to impress or work hard for other than himself. Though his parents did have certain expectations for their son, he didn't go out of his way for them anymore. It was all for him. He no longer answered to them. All his schooling and living expenses were paid for by himself and all the scholarships he received. He had worked hard and they hardly acknowledged that.

Edd found himself liberated. He got to start fresh and be with individuals who shared his interests. He found that he could be quite the social butterfly with his new friends. Alex the cellist, Austin the percussionist, and Emma a second violinist. They were his best friends in London. Alex and Austin were his roommates and Emma was Alex's girlfriend. They had gotten very close and Edd knew he could depend on them. They were true friends in Edd's eyes and he was sad he had to say goodbye to them.

Edd, Alex, and Austin had lived together when they attended college, but even after graduation they remained in touch. Emma and Alex had gotten married after they finished school and already had 2 beautiful little girls. Austin confessed having feelings for Double D and they dated for a while after college, but it fizzled out. Edd didn't feel the same for Austin as Austin did for him. Edd didn't want to keep hurting him and he finally told him about Kevin. Edd was relieved that the man was so understanding and that he didn't lose a friend.

Austin came to understand what Edd had been dealing with the whole time since leaving his hometown. He remained by Edd's side as much as Edd would let him. He loved him and accepted that Edd would never feel the same, but he would wait forever for the ravenette. Edd never realized how much Austin had actually picked up on from his little confession about a redhead he had shared a summer with. To Austin it was obvious that Edd still loved Kevin, but he never pointed it out to him. It had been selfish on his part, but he told himself it was up to Edd to figure out what the redhead truly meant to him.

Edd missed his friends in London. They all tried to get together the day before Double D moved back, but everyone had been too busy. He hated leaving them behind without a proper goodbye. He knew he could still rely on them for support if he needed, but it was so hard with them being so far away. What Double D couldn't admit to himself was how much he had actually missed having Kevin in his life. Sure, the first few years away had been hard, but he had made great friends that kept him busy and that cared about him.

What could he possibly have with Kevin now? Edd was certain there wouldn't be any lingering feelings after all this time, but if his breakup with Austin had been any indication, even though it was a few years ago, Edd certainly still felt something towards the redhead, no time apart could make that go away. As much as Double D tried to deny it he definitely felt something akin to butterflies in his gut just thinking about the brief encounter he just had with Kevin.

He undoubtedly still looked like the same Kevin. That handsome face with that shit eating grin and sparkling green eyes, those gorgeous red locks of his, and Edd was sure he was still built like a god, maybe even more so by the way he filled out that jean jacket. Yes, _that_ jean jacket. He still wore it. Of course he did, it was his father's. It surely was the same jacket; Double D could recognize that jacket anywhere, even from a pile of jean jackets. He would always know that jacket. _His jacket._

All in just a few moment's glance Edd caught all that. That had to mean something. But was he ready to find out if it was? He hadn't even be in town for 24 hours yet.

Goddammit! He ran away from Kevin. Again! What must Kevin think of him now! He was a coward. The redhead surely didn't want to speak to him now. Double D intentionally snubbed him in public. How could he have been so rude?

Edd looked up from his coffee to glance at his watch. He'd been lost in his thoughts for nearly 15 minutes. This wasn't accomplishing anything. He had a lot to do today and he couldn't waste it on trying to make sense of feelings he wasn't sure he had for someone he wasn't sure he still knew.

He got up from his booth and went to the register to pay for is coffee. He hesitantly exited the building looking around for any sign of the redhead. Confident that the coast was clear Edd made his way back to his car.

As Double D approached his car he was careful to avoid stepping in the puddle of coffee that remained. It seemed that someone had already picked up the cup and donut and disposed of them in the trash can that was in front of the coffee shop. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his car.

Edd got in and put the key in the ignition. When he looked up from the steering wheel he noticed a small folded up piece of paper tucked under his windshield wiper. He could suddenly hear his heart pound in his chest as everything else went silent. It couldn't possibly be a note from _him._ Well if it was it probably said something like, "Get out of town! I never want to see your face again!"

He opened the car door and slowly slid out of his seat to retrieve the note. He gently lifted the wiper and picked up the note with his fingertips as if it would disintegrate if he handled it too roughly. He sat back down in his seat and slammed his door shut before he opened the note.

It was obviously from Kevin. Double D could recognize that handwriting anywhere. He now realized why the redhead hadn't run after him. He sighed loudly before he began to read what Kevin had wrote.

 _Edd,_

 _I think we need to talk._

 _I'm guessing you've been home and that you've read my letter._

 _Just please talk to me, D._

 _How about dinner at the diner on 5th at 7 tonight?_

 _You know I won't take no for an answer. Hope to see you there._

 _\- Kevin_

Edd rested his head on the steering wheel as he let out a long sigh. How could he honestly face him now?

He tried to come up with a logical explanation for what seemed to be Kevin's continued interest in him, but Double D simply could not fathom that the redhead could actually still harbor feelings for him. Edd found this to be completely far fetched and down right impossible.

The only scenario that made any sense to the genius was that Kevin probably wanted answers. He probably wanted to know why he left all those years ago with only a single letter left in his wake that offered no explanation as where he had gone.

Yeah, that's all it was. Kevin just wanted answers and maybe catch up like old friends. Well that's what Double D tried to convince himself.

So Edd decided it would be best to distract himself, lest his thoughts consume him for the rest of the day, and he set out to do what he had originally planned to do this morning when he left his house.

The rest of his afternoon seemed to go off without a hitch. He went to the supermarket and purchased what was necessary to sustain him for the week including some wine, scratch that - lots of wine and other liquor he knew he was going to need.

When Double D arrived back at his childhood home he unpacked the car a little giddy having forgotten, albeit only briefly, of his evening plans. He almost started to make dinner for himself when he remembered he was going to meet Kevin for dinner in just a few hours.

Edd suddenly lost all his appetite as his heart sunk into his stomach. He needed to eat something because had not eaten a thing all day. His head was scrambled, to say the least. Double D wasn't even sure what was going to happen tonight and he was already so confused and nervous. He knew he shouldn't make assumptions, but he had nothing to go on except the two letters he had from Kevin and one of them was almost 4 years old. Edd knew he was solely to blame for the lack of communication for running away like he had. Both times.

He tried telling himself that it was all in his head and he had no reason to be nervous about meeting the redhead. Kevin clearly barred no ill will toward him and this was just going to be a friendly dinner, or so he hoped.

And hope he did. Edd found himself wondering if he could still feel the same about Kevin as he once had. They were so young when they had been together and it was only for a short time, though they had known each other practically their whole lives and they became very close friends during their senior year.

They had made so many promises to each other that summer, obviously none that either boy kept, well Edd didn't keep. Maybe all those 'I love you's and promises would still mean something to the redhead if Double D hadn't left his amazing boyfriend that summer.

No, Edd couldn't let himself think like that, of what ifs. He made a choice a long time ago. He was content with the decision he made. He had been happy in London. Double D loved the time he spent in the Philharmonic, the beautiful music he played, the crowd that applauded, and the satisfaction he got from playing. It was all real and as beautiful as any relationship could be.

Right?

Double D tried to think of how he felt during his last performance, when the music swelled into the glorious melody, when he could feel the stage vibrate beneath his feet as the notes climbed with the crescendo, and when his bow bounced happily on and off the strings in a staccato. It was all so beautiful, so amazing, so wonderful. How could anything compare? No, nothing could. The feelings he felt that summer couldn't compare to that. All those emotions were on completely different levels from each other.

No, he couldn't compare the two things. He tried to suppress his memories and regain some semblance of sanity for the evening. He was going to get answers soon enough. There was no point in sitting there confused and hopeful about the situation. So, Edd opted to make himself a light snack to calm his nerves before going up to his room and getting ready for dinner. And then there was a new dilemma at hand - what was he supposed to wear?

* * *

 _As always thank you for reading! Please let me know what you guys think. I love reading your reviews!_

 _And again, you can always reach out to me on here or on tumblr (same username) with any questions or concerns._


	4. The Way We Were - Part 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy. This story is of my own original thoughts inspired by music!_

* * *

 _We used to rule the world_

 _Every kiss was an adventure_

 _Every night with you was like a holiday_

 _How we used to fly like two birds of a feather_

 _Making promises we swore we'd never break_

 _Why did we say goodbye?_

 _I should've held on tight_

 _Let's go back tonight_

 _o_

 _Yeah,_ _You rocked my world forever_

 _I know you still remember_

 _How we felt before_

 _Yeah, We should be together_

 _Cause nothing could be better_

 _Than the way we were_

 _Baby, let's go back to the way we were_

 _o_

 _We'd spend the day in bed_

 _Not thinking about the future_

 _We were so in love we didn't even care_

 _And I still can't forget_

 _The way you danced around my kitchen_

 _With a box of wine in your underwear_

 _o_

 _Yeah, You rocked my world forever_

 _I know you still remember_

 _How we felt before_

 _Yeah, We should be together_

 _Cause nothing could be better_

 _Than the way we were_

 _Baby, let's go back to the way we were_

* * *

Kevin walked away from the car that he assumed to belong to Double D. He was beginning to wonder if he should have even left the note. Were the dinner plans given with enough time for Edd? Kevin knew how crazy the genius was for planning and organizing anything.

He hoped Edd would accept the invitation. He had to right? It was rude not to. Kevin could almost hear the genius lecturing him in his head about how he didn't even give Edd a way to contact him so he could have a chance to turn him down or plan for another time. The ravenette would definitely wring his neck for not being more considerate about planning dinner.

Well, either way it was too late and the redhead was desperate. He had to talk to him. Kevin needed answers. Dammit! He had the right to know what happened all those years ago. Edd owed him at least that much.

But Kevin knew that wasn't the only reason why he wanted to talk to the genius. He wanted him and he wanted him back forever. Kevin knew no matter what had happened over the past 8 years his heart still cried out for the raven haired man, his body still ached for his touches, and his lips still trembled whenever he said his name. _Edd._

Kevin did not care if he had moved on with someone else. He would make Double D his again. No matter what life was going to throw at him tonight he would stop at nothing to get him back. He had to.

Kevin knew he was still the same old Double D after all these years. Hell, him running away like that just proved he was still the same sexy shy nerd he always was. His Edd was still there. The redhead just knew it. Edd belonged with him and he belonged with Edd, it was just that simple.

Sure Kevin had been upset when Double D left. All throughout college Kevin tried to get over him, but no one ever came close and his mind _always_ went back to the ravenette that slipped through his fingers.

* * *

His first summer home Kevin hoped like he needed air to breathe to see the genius return, but when cool June evenings melted into scorching July days without any sign of Double D, Kevin had had enough. He just couldn't believe Edd wasn't going to come home.

Kevin was frustrated, to say the least, and he was on verge of tears for the genius that didn't seem to be coming home. So one July evening he decided getting drunk to numbness and locking himself in his room was going to solve all his problems. He couldn't take it. Why did Edd do this? Hadn't he loved him? What they had was real, too real to have been a lie. Hadn't it?

Staring out his bedroom window at the lonely house across the street Kevin decided that the only way he was going to get answers was to go looking for them himself. He was going to go to the Vincent household and tear the place apart. He was going to find something, anything that told him where Edd was and he was going to get to him even if it meant calling Double D's parents himself. So in his inebriated state he unlocked his door, made his way down the stairs, and across the street to the empty house that the genius used to live in. Before he knew it he made it inside, thanks to the secret key the ravenette had showed him, and now he was standing in front of Edd's bedroom door. He hesitated for a moment with his hand on the knob. He held his breath and pushed the door open. Kevin sighed at the sight before him. Everything had remained the same as it had been almost a year ago. Even the hole he punched in the wall above the desk was still there.

A part of him hoped to see his dork curled up on the bed in Kevin's jean jacket like he always did before. He looked for anything indicating the genius had been home. Something telling him where Double D had gone. But there was nothing.

Kevin broke all over again. It was as if it was only yesterday when the love of his life had left him. As if it was happening all over again.

His feet dragged him to the barren bed. With no other plans to find him, Kevin climbed in the bed and cried. He inhaled deeply as a sob shook him; he could faintly smell him. _His dork._

The only one his heart desired, the only one he had ever loved, the only one that left him all alone, the only one that haunted both his dreams and nightmares. And yet somehow being in the room that held so many memories soothed him. Though his heart still ached, Kevin slowly fell into a peaceful sleep he had never known without Edd.

The next morning Kevin awoke to a man with jet black hair that was graying faintly on his side burns and gentle chocolate eyes behind a pair of black framed glasses shaking him awake. The man looked familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on where he recognized the man from.

Kevin blinked a few times before he realized he wasn't in his home and that the man was talking to him.

"Young man, I said could you remove yourself from my home before I notify the authorities to remove you forcefully," the man said sternly.

Kevin bolted upright and his head started to spin. He was going to be sick. He jumped out of the bed and ran passed the man holding his mouth and stomach. He ran into the bathroom forgetting to shut the door behind him. He barely made it to the toilet as the memories of the previous night came rushing back to him.

He finished emptying his stomach's contents when he looked up to the doorway where he saw the tall man standing there impatiently tapping his foot with his hand on his hip and his face all screwed up in a sad attempt at a scowl. Why was that look so familiar to him?

Oh wait. This must be his dad.

Kevin stood up and attempted to straighten his clothes out as he reached his hand forward to shake the man's hand who he assumed to be Edd's dad.

"I apologize for the intrusion, sir. My name is Kevin," he said trying to sound completely normal.

The man reluctantly grabbed Kevin's hand and returned the firm shake. "I'm sorry, but should I know who you are, young man?"

The redhead thought for a moment pondering what he should tell the man. The only thing that made the most sense to him was the truth. If he wanted answers he should be honest.

"I'm your son's boyfriend," he said boldly, as if it should have been obvious to the tall man in front of him, "Well, uh, used to be? I'm actually not sure anymore."

The man stared back at him speechless and utterly confused.

Kevin cleared his throat as he rubbed the back of his neck in his typical nervous fashion, "See the thing is, sir, your son and I were dating last summer. That is until he just disappeared one morning and I haven't seen or heard from him since then."

The redhead looked up at the man whose eyes seemed to filled with something akin to sympathy and suddenly Kevin was having a hard time keeping his emotions in check as he fought the tears that wanted to come forth.

The man sighed, avoiding Kevin's gaze as he removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "So you're _THE_ Kevin?"

Kevin nodded.

"Eddward mentioned you before. But that doesn't explain _why_ I found you passed out drunk in my son's bed."

Kevin swallowed hard as an embarrassed blush started to creep across the apple's of his cheeks, "Uh, well, I was hoping to find him here and when I didn't I-I-I just kinda didn't know wh-," Kevin's voice trailed off as he avoided the man's line of sight that seemed to be burning holes through his very being.

"I'm afraid Eddward will not be returning. You see he has informed us that he has taken on some sort of internship and plans to remain near campus until classes resume in the fall. So he won't be coming home this summer. And again I ask that you leave our home." The man looked down at him and saw him drop to his hands and knees as the redhead started to sob.

Edd's mother Isabel had been listening in on the whole conversation from the hallway and could hear the heartbreak Kevin was feeling as he shook with the sobs that echoed off the tile in the bathroom.

She pushed her way past her husband who was standing in the doorway and knelt down next to Kevin to comfort him and she knew how much he loved her son.

Isabel shot her husband a glare that clearly told him to back off and that she would take care of the redhead that had invaded their home.

"Uh, Kevin was it?" she whispered.

He nodded.

"You said Eddward just disappeared one day, correct?" Another nod. "Well you see dear, he left for school. Didn't he at least tell you that much?" she asked quietly.

Kevin tried to silence his sobs as he cleared his throat and attempted to wipe away the tears roughly with the palms of his hands before he sat on his knees and looked up at the woman. Kevin felt like he got the wind knocked out of him when he saw her eyes and he quickly realized they were the same shade of blue. They looked exactly like _his_ eyes.

He hadn't noticed how long he was staring until the woman said his name and he quickly gathered his thoughts again. "You see ma'am, we both knew what was coming at the end of the summer, but we j-just never talked about it," Kevin sniffled and sighed before he began again, "I thought maybe it would all work itself out and w-w-we would just keep going even if it had to be a long distance thing. I thought that's what he had wanted. It's what I wanted. I didn't want to let go. God, I'm such an idiot! He probably didn't love me like I loved him and s-still do love him. How c-could he just walk away like that? H-how could he leave me? How?" He couldn't control his emotions anymore as everything came bubbling back to the surface.

Anger and rage.

Depression and hopelessness.

The heartbreak.

The love he lost.

Isabel Vincent just held onto the redhead as he let all of his emotions out.

Kevin told her everything. Well, everything that was appropriate to tell his old boyfriend's parents. In turn for his transparency about their son, they told him what they knew and what they knew was that they weren't entirely sure where Edd had gone to school, only that it was somewhere abroad. The Vincent's admitted to Kevin that they had been wrong in leaving their son to fend for himself. It was what they believed to be best for him at the time. They came to realize the irony of the situation - Edd had done the same to them as they had to him. Sure, Edd had kept in contact with his parents, but it was always brief conversations that were merely generic exchanges of pleasantries. The Vincents felt they deserved the punishment Edd was giving them and they respected that.

So even they weren't sure where Eddward was. Now, how was he supposed to find the love of his life? How was he supposed to get him back if he couldn't even find him? Isabel and Robert informed Kevin that they were only home to sell the house and move closer to their jobs. They decided after they discovered that Edd wasn't returning home for his first summer that it would be best to sell the house. No one was going to be living in it anyways. Now there was going to be no chance of Edd coming back. Kevin couldn't let them sell the house. He needed Double D to be tied to Peach Creek. He needed that slim chance that he would come back to him one day. It was all he had left to hope for.

Kevin begged the Vincents not to sell their home. He promised to mow the grass and keep the house in shape if they didn't sell it. He even offered to pay rent. Isabel knew what this house meant to Kevin and quickly hushed his begging. She and her husband decided to let Kevin take care of the home. If this boy loved her son like she saw he did, Edd would return home one day. He just had to. Maybe this redhead was capable of fixing the damage she and Robert had done as parents to their brilliant son. Maybe Kevin would be their son's saving grace and could love him ten fold of what they had given him as parents.

So every break Kevin got he spent across the street taking care of the Vincent home. He shoveled the snow, mowed the lawn, trimmed the hedges, vacuumed the carpet, dusted the mantle, kept all of the home's appliances functioning, and even decorated for every holiday. Kevin took care of that home in such a way that Edd would have been proud of him. The Vincents even made more attempts to visit Peach Creek and saw Kevin as a son. They had to know more about the young man whose heart belonged to their son. They kept him close like they should have with Edd.

They even shared Christmas together almost every year having dinner with Kevin and his mother like they were all old friends. The only thing that was missing was Edd and then it would have been what it should - two families joined together for the love their son's shared.

But Edd never came.

The Vincents thought it was best not to let Eddward be privy to their arrangement with Kevin. Not that Kevin asked them to pass along any messages, but they all believed it was better for Edd to come to his senses on his own and come home when he was ready to. It was a silent agreement between Kevin and his want-to-be-future-in-laws. If Edd made the decision to leave like he did for whatever reasons he had at the time, then he would have to come home of his own accord as well.

* * *

Kevin thought back to what happened that day when Robert Vincent found him passed out and hungover in his son's bed and the arrangement that had been made that day as he got ready for his dinner with Double D. He wondered if it was the best choice. Should he have been holding on this whole time?

He let that question simmer in his mind until it was time to leave. He locked the front door to his apartment and walked down the path to the parking lot. He made his way over to the spot reserved for his bike and hopped on as placed the helmet on his head. The redhead put the keys in the ignition and revved the engine to his bike and all he could think of on the drive over was, " _Yes_."

* * *

 ** _A/N:_**

 _So this will probably my last update for a few weeks (unless I get some time to write). I'm leaving the country next Friday for 12 days! I'm going on the dream trip; Spain, France, and Italy! So point being, I'm not sure when I'll have access to the interwebs, therefore I'm not sure if I'll be able to update while I'm away. I will continue to write during any down time I'm going to have so, there's a plus. I can't wait to see what inspiration hits me and what I'll have for you guys next! (Any updates or information regarding updates will be posted to my tumblr first. Go check out my blog! Same name.)_

 _Again thanks to everyone that read and reviewed the last chapter. I love reading what you guys have to say. It just makes me giddy all day long!_

 _Oh and I apologize for the weirdness in the beginning. I couldn't get the lyrics to format the way I wanted. (Song: The Way We Were by The Summer Set (obviously, hehe))_

 _Well, I guess that's it. Ta-ta for now!_

 _Hazel Out!_


	5. One Night

_**A/N:**_

 _Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long. I thought I was gonna come back from my trip with tons of shenanigans ready, but I didn't have a lot of free time to write and what little time I did, I spent it sleeping, haha. So here goes another chapter for ya'll inspired by yet another Summer Set song called One Night! Go give it a listen!_

 _Shout out to all who continue to read and review! You guys are the real MVPs and I love ya!_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy or any of its chacacters. This story is of my own original thoughts inspired by music!_

* * *

To say Kevin was nervous, was a complete understatement. In all his haste of wanting to arrive on time to his dinner with Edd, he had actually arrived almost a half hour early. He knew the raven would arrive early, but he want to get there first to get a booth; he needed Double D to look him in the eye and give an honest answer about the past. Kevin wanted, no, _demanded_ the truth, and he sure as hell deserved it.

The redhead was not going to leave without answers, that was the mission, and maybe, just maybe they could pick up where they left off. It was all he had left to hope for.

Kevin sat down in the booth and waited. He knew Edd wouldn't be too much longer, so he tried to gather his thoughts, giving himself a mini pep talk. He knew what he wanted to say, he just didn't know how he was gonna tell him, or how Double D was going to take it. He didn't care though, no matter what happened he had to tell Edd how he felt. Just like he did all those years ago. Kevin chuckled quietly to himself about the irony of his current situation.

He sighed. And as if on queue Edd cleared his throat as he stood in front of the booth Kevin was sitting in. Kevin scrambled to his feet.

He didn't know if he should hug Double D or shake his hand. _God, this is so awkward already,_ Kevin thought to himself as he reached out to shake Edd's hand.

"Hey, I'm glad you came. It's nice to see you again," Kevin said as he fought off a blush.

Edd motioned for them to sit, "It's good to see you too, Kevin."

Kevin cleared his throat, he tried to think of something, anything to say. He was suddenly feeling anxious and nervous all at once as he got this feeling in his gut like his heart just sunk. He needed to say something.

"So, um, how've you been Edd?" Internal facepalm.

"Well if you must know, I've been doing rather well for myself, aside from having to move back home, for the time being that is," he said matter of factly as he flashed that gap toothed grin the redhead loved. "How about you, Kevin? What have you been up to all these years?"

Before Kevin got to answer the waitress came to take their order for drinks. Edd got water with a slice of lemon and Kevin got a coke. Nothing had changed. Kevin's memory flashed an image of them in high school eating in that diner after a long afternoon of studying, like they had done almost every Saturday in their senior year.

"So uh, Kevin, you were saying?" Edd said awkwardly trying to fill the silence.

"Oh yeah, ya'know I've just been doing the typical stuff, working, just trying to make a livin'. Nothin' all that interesting, I promise," Kevin said attempting to calm his nerves.

The waitress returned with their drinks and took their orders for dinner. The all American boy in Kevin got a cheeseburger and fries with all the amenities and Edd ordered a steak with a baked potato.

The small talk continued and it was slowly killing Kevin. If there was one thing he hated, no loathed, it was meaningless small talk. He didn't want to be rude though, he knew this sort of small talk was Double D's thing. He remembered all the bland conversations Edd had with his parents over the phone. It had all been rather generic and seemed more like old friends pretending to be interested and not at all like parents being genuinely concerned for their kid. But Kevin knew Edd's parents now and understood more about their relationship with their son, but that didn't mean he excused their behavior; he just figured old habits died _hard_ and the redhead was not about to let their first meeting be filled with empty exchanges of pleasantries. He had to announce the elephant in the room, well his elephant that is.

"Uh, Edd," Kevin said cutting off Double D mid sentence, "I gotta be honest with you right now."

Edd looked up from his steak not at all surprised about Kevin's sudden request. He had been waiting for it all night. He met Kevin's gaze as he set his knife and fork down, "I'm listening, Kevin."

"So, ya'know about the note I left you in your room, right?"

Edd nodded and swallowed hard, "Yes, I found it," he hesitated for a moment and swallowed again, avoiding Kevin's piercing green eyes, "and I read it too."

"What did you think of it?"

Kevin could see a blush start to creep across Edd's cheeks. He knew that blush meant something, and he was determined to find out what. He could see Double D open and close his mouth like he was going to say something, but the redhead knew him well and what he knew was that the genius's thoughts were going a mile a minute and he was struggling to formulate a sentence without revealing too much. Kevin knew his raven well; he distinctly remembered Edd making the same exact face the first time he told him he loved him.

"D, c'mon, just say what you're thinking. I can take it," Kevin said as he offered that charming million dollar smile of his that he knew Edd just loved.

"Well, to be frank Kevin, I don't think there is anything to think of it," Edd stated rather emotionless as his eyes went cold, like all the life had left them, and the color drained from his face.

The redhead was taken aback by the raven's icy response. Kevin didn't want to acknowledge this man in front of him, and he knew damn well that this wasn't his Edd. This man in front of him was putting on a mask and this particular one, Kevin hated the most. This was the one that hid behind a fort of insecurities and shot anyone down that came too close. Usually once it was up, Kevin would have some serious climbing to do before he got Edd back, but what Kevin didn't understand was why he was using it on him now.

"What do you mean?" The redhead asked sternly as he clenched his jaw trying to control his emotions.

"Kevin, you know as well as I do that we were both young and naive. We let our hormones and loneliness get the better of us. You couldn't possibly think what we had was anything real or serious, could you?" Edd said, even colder than before, if that were possible, his eyes now flashed ice.

The redhead had only dealt with this side of Double D a few times and he hated it. He remembered one time during that summer very vividly. Edd's parents were supposed to come to town for a weekend, so he had spent several days getting the house ready for them and was going to introduce Kevin as his boyfriend, but they never showed. It took a whole week for them to call their son to tell him they weren't going to make it. A whole freakin' week after the fact. Kevin was really pissed off about it, but his rage was nothing compared to Double D's when he flipped his switch. His anger manifested in a more twisted manner than the redhead's. It took Kevin almost 3 whole days to pull Double D out of his _dark_ _side,_ is what Kevin called it. He just didn't understand what had pushed the raven over the edge now.

"D, don't do this," Kevin said softly, trying to calm the sleeping giant that was Edd's dark side, "you know what you're saying isn't true. You know you felt things that summer, 'cause I felt them too and they were very real and still are…" the redhead trailed off.

He was trying to hold back everything that had been building up over the last 8 years of his life without his Edd. He reached across the table to cover Double D's hand with his and looked him straight in those icy blues that still took his breath away.

"You know this isn't you and I know you're still in there, and this isn't what you're really thinking or feeling. Just tell me the truth, just tell me the first thing that comes to your mind," the redhead said as he tried to pull his Edd back.

He saw his blue eyes glint back to their original softness right before they went cold again and stared hard like they were going right through his very soul.

"I don't know what fantasy you're living in, Kevin," the raven said sternly, keeping his voice even and sharp the entire time as he yanked his hand from under the redhead's, "but I don't feel anything for you and you're an even bigger fool than I thought you were if you think there was ever anything here."

Kevin could feel the tears threatening to spill over and he tried with all he had to hold back. He _refused_ to let this Double D with the mask see him like this; he wasn't fighting fair, and he wasn't going to give up on the only person he would ever love.

"You don't mean that, Edd, you know you don't," Kevin said trying to convince himself more so than the monster mask the raven was wearing.

The raven stood up and started to move away from the table, "I have nothing else to say here, Kevin."

The redhead couldn't take it anymore.

"No!"

Double D turned around to see the redhead with his fists planted firmly on the table in front of him.

"You don't get to run away this time! You stay here and listen to what I have to say, Edd, or so help me God I will lose my mind," Kevin looked up to stare the raven in his dumbstruck face as tears started to stream down his freckled cheeks and his voice quieted to a harsh whisper as he glanced back down at the table, "this has been weighing on my mind for 8 years, D. I can't let you go again…"

Double D stood there completely shocked over the rawness of the redhead's outburst. Kevin knew he had caught something deep inside the raven, he could see the mask crack and his eyes soften again. Though, he could see Edd was still acting guarded, a tiny victory was won toward getting his man back. And that's what mattered.

The raven sighed, "What could possibly be left to salvage after all these years, Kevin? Come on, be realistic!"

"Everything. And if you don't think that then you're the biggest idiot I know, Double D," he said as he stood meeting the genius's gaze, searching for something, _anything_ , telling him this man hadn't completely given up.

"I don't have time for this nonsense. I'm leaving, I have a lot to do at home," the raven huffed as he turned to leave the diner.

Kevin grabbed his forearm and turned the genius around, "No! You don't get to run away anymore," he said forcing the raven to meet his eyes, still searching for a sign in his cold blue eyes.

He sighed and spoke more quietly, almost a whisper, "I'll be leaving. Thanks for your time, Edd," he let go of his forearm, reached into his back pocket for his wallet, and placed a couple twenty dollar bills on the table.

The redhead grabbed his jean jacket from the space next to where he had been sitting and before turning around to leave the redhead met the genius's eyes one last time and handed the jacket to him, "I won't bother you anymore, but take this. I think it belongs to you, you always looked better in it than me anyways."

The raven just nodded and took the jacket.

As Kevin turned to leave Edd could see him hesitate before the glass door as he shook his head, letting out a long sigh of defeat, and then the man of his dreams left without another glance back.

Double D was speechless. He stood there all alone clutching _that jacket_ and he had no idea how he was going to fix the mess he had just made.

* * *

 _"It_ _only takes one night to fuck up my life._ _I need one night to fix it all._ _It's one, one minute till midnight._ _I'm losing one friend after another._ _It's one foot in front of the other._ _It's one, one minute till midnight."_

 _Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you guys think, leave a review!_

 _I've commissioned an artist for cover art, but I have no idea what I want. What do you guys think? Shoot me a message with any ideas._

 _All information regarding updates are on my tumblr. Check it out for sneak peaks!_


	6. Oh Well, Oh Well

_**A/N:**_

 _*Hides in box of shame*_

 _I know, it's been like forever since I've updated ;_; I'm sorry...Please forgive me! Well, here goes an extra long chapter!_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy or any of its characters. This story is of my own original thoughts inspired by music!_

* * *

It had been roughly 2 weeks...maybe, Double D had lost count of the days. He had hardly left his room and all his things were still mostly packed away in the moving boxes.

He couldn't find it in himself to get up. The ravenette didn't want to be home, not in Peach Creek at least. He often asked himself how he managed to get sucked back in and why he wasn't still in London. Edd needed to leave, because he didn't want to risk running into _him_ again. That was the last thing he wanted so, he stayed home, hardly ever leaving his room, except to use the bathroom and get food. He didn't even bother eating in the dining room, what was the point now. Edd was ready to live out the rest of his days locked away in his bedroom, like he did before, except now it was different. The ravenette was no longer a child, but a fully grown adult with responsibilities. Yes, he could ignore them for now, but school would start soon and he hadn't planned anything, let alone visited his old high school that was going to be his new place of employment.

It was nearly noon, Double D could tell by the lack of shadows under the tree in his front lawn. He got up from under his blanket nest and stretched until he heard his neck and back let out a series loud _pops._ The genius walked across the hall to the bathroom and pushed the door open. He stood in front of the small sink and let the warm water run over his hands for a bit, as his hands tended to be colder than the rest of his body, and then he wet his face as he looked in the mirror; he had avoided it rather well until now. Edd could see immediately that he looked significantly more pale, there were dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks looked more hollow than usual, what little facial hair he could grow was now very visible, and his hair...well, his hair looked absolutely horrendous. When was the last time he had showered? He couldn't remember.

The ravenette decided he should probably shower today and that would be all he would do for the rest of the day. Edd turned on the shower as hot as he could take it and began to undress. He only noticed how awful he smelled once he removed his clothes and threw them in the hamper. Why did he let himself get this bad? It was by his choice after all, he could have gone about making his life normal again, but no, his body decided to lock itself up. His mind was worse off, especially when he slept as his dreams were made up of memories that twisted into nightmares. And the star of the show...well, as much as he tried to not think about him awake, his subconscious made sure he was there while he slept. Never would he feel relieved when he awoke, always gasping to breathe.

He drowned almost every night and suffocated everyday.

Edd knew he had panicked that night, but it was for the best, at least that's what he told himself. There was no way anything good could come from pursuing a relationship again. It was all over for them. He thought the redhead had definitely moved on with his life by now, there was absolutely no way he could have been holding on this whole time. Right? Surely not.

But...

But then there was that letter and the redhead said it was still true. And the _jacket_...why did he give him that jacket? Why did he even accept it? Now it was just sitting there on his desk...taunting him, reminding him of when they had been together.

He climbed into the shower and pulled the curtain closed. Letting the water run over him, he started to feel his emotions emerge to the front of his mind. He wasn't ready to feel those things again. But before he realized it he heard someone scream _that_ name. He didn't want to hear it, not that name. He couldn't say it, but he did. He had screamed that forbidden name and as the realization hit him again he allowed the name to escape his lips a second time and echo off the walls. He absolutely hated to admit it, but he had made a horrible mistake. The redhead loved him...he _still_ loved him, he had never stopped, but the genius had pushed him away. Again. And if Edd was being completely honest with himself he knew he had never stopped thinking about the redhead since he left Peach Creek. He had never stopped loving him. No matter how much he told himself it was better this way, his thoughts always went back to the summer and how great it had all been. No one ever came close to making him feel like Kevin had.

Not a single person could match up to the redhead's passion that he loved so much. No one was as completely stubborn and hardheaded as him, no looked as good on a bike as he did, no one had eyes as green and lush and as full of life as a tropical rain forest, no one had fiery locks that rivaled the sun's rays, no one could hold him like he had and felt as warm and safe as he had made him feel, and no one, absolutely no one loved him like Kevin had. There wasn't a person in the world that came close. As much as he had tried to love Austin, the London native with the shining blue eyes, he should have known better than to let him in like he had. But Austin had been his first friend in London and he was so eager to get over the redhead he had left behind. It was all for naught though. Now the real question was, how was he going to fix this? The ravenette wondered if it was too late to explain himself to the redhead the way he deserved.

Edd leaned his head against the wall of the shower and let the water run over him for a moment and then he heard a loud thud at the door. Then came a voice, it wasn't quite loud enough for him to pick out who the voice belonged to. So he called out, "Who's there?" His voice not as confident as he had hoped.

There was the voice again and this time he could hear that it belonged to a female, "Eddward, honey is that you in there?" called the voice, more loudly than before, that belonged to his mother Isabel.

He leaned back on the wall and sighed before he called back out, "Yes, mother. I'm here. I'll be out in a moment."

"Oh, thank god. I wasn't sure if was you. Well, we can talk once you're decent. Your father and I need to speak to you about something important," she called back through the door.

So, they did come home afterall. He sighed loudly as he poured his shampoo into his hand and began to wash himself. He just wanted to be left alone now, he wasn't ready to talk to anyone, especially them. Edd wondered as he rinsed if he should tell them about his relationship with Kevin, or rather the relationship he used to have with Kevin, seeing as how he couldn't possibly say where they stood now, and besides he never got to tell them 8 years ago when they were supposed to visit. He remembered vividly what had transpired that week. Double D had spent several days preparing the house for them and was going to introduce Kevin as his boyfriend to them, but the day came and went. They didn't show. He wondered why he had got his hopes up for their supposed arrival, he should have known better-they only came about half the time they said they would anyways. He knew that, but he ignored it because he was so excited to introduce Kevin. It was a whole week later when they called and apologized about not having arrived.

Looking back on the incident reminded him that that was why he had made the decision to not let Kevin know where he was going to go to school. By July that summer when Edd realized he loved the redhead he had changed his mind about telling Kevin his school plans and decided that by the end of the summer he was going to ask Kevin if he wanted to continue their relationship long distance. But after what his parents had done he thought it was better to leave the redhead in the wind and continue his life as he had planned and hoped the redhead would do the same.

Edd reached for a towel as he stepped out of the shower and secured it around his waist. He looked over at the mirror above the sink; he looked a little better. There was at least some color in his cheeks again, but that was mostly from the steam in the room. His hair looked better and he certainly smelled better now, he started to feel a little bit more like himself again.

He grabbed the edges of the sink as he tried to gather his composure. His parents were likely downstairs waiting to speak to him about whatever they thought was important that they had to discuss it with him. He figured they were probably going to reprimand him about the condition of the house; he had not picked up after himself since he got back and most of his things were still in boxes scattered about the house and garage. He didn't want to deal with the lecture, he needed to figure out how he was going to get to Kevin, and at least apologize to him and if he would let him explain himself about 8 years ago and the other night. Edd had never seen the redhead look so defeated and hurt, and he wondered what had Kevin looked like that morning when he woke up to a letter telling him goodbye. He tried to shake the thoughts from his head as he started to feel tears threatening to pour out. He couldn't let himself think about the past and the mistakes he had made with the redhead, no, he needed to think about what laid ahead and how he was going to fix it all.

Double D pushed the door to the bathroom open and made his way across the hall to his room. As soon as he had stepped inside he closed the door behind him and locked it. He was glad he had some clean clothes to change into, considering he really hadn't bothered with changing since that night, only having changed two or three times. Edd wasn't sure exactly what he was going to tell his parents or how he was even going to approach the subject of Kevin. He figured he should at least find out what they wanted to tell him before he went ahead and poured his heart out to them. He knows he hadn't been particularly close with his parents, not that they had done anything to bridge the gap either, but it was in fact a two-way street, he should at least try. Nothing would hurt in trying to communicate with them, give them a glimpse into his life, show them what they had been missing since he was a kid. He knew he would never forget their absence in his life, but he wanted to move on from it. Maybe, just maybe they felt the same too. He certainly hadn't expected to see them now, after over 8 years of not seeing them and then they suddenly showed up at home like they said they would when they called a few days ago. Edd could only think maybe they were trying.

About 6 months after he left for school he had noticed that they were calling him more frequently than they had before, he tried to brush it off thinking they were maybe a little concerned because he was no longer stateside and within reach. But the conversations were always friendly and seemed more genuine. They never asked anything too personal, but consistently inquired about his well being; telling them he was "just fine" didn't seem to suffice. It was like they were half expecting him to reveal some devastating news or something, so Double D just ignored it. Maybe they were trying now. It's not like pushing people away was doing him any good at this point in his life, if history had anything to say about that.

Edd held his breath as looked down at his clothes. He was wearing his favorite pair of blue jeans with a comfortable dark blue t-shirt and his grey cardigan. He adjusted his beanie on his head as he opened his bedroom door, he turned down the hall that led to the stairs and hesitated at the top, trying to gather his thoughts before he began his descent.

Before he was halfway down the stairs he could see his parents waiting for him at the bottom. His father had his arms around his mother's shoulders, in a rather caring fashion he wasn't used to seeing. His parents looked relatively the same from the last time he saw them, they just looked older and had more grey hair. His dad's once rich soft brown locks were now sandy and slightly dull due to the grey and white he now had. His father's face was faintly more wrinkled, but otherwise he still looked like his father. Now his mother, well she looked radiant still, but the worry lines in her forehead were more distinct. Her hair wasn't greyed like his father's, but Edd figured she likely colored her jet black hair to hide it. He would be lying if he said he hadn't missed them after all this time. They were still his parents. Despite everything.

When he stepped off the last stair he found himself being smothered in his mother's arms.

"Oh, Eddward! Oh, honey, it's been too long. We are so sorry dear!" she proclaimed behind choked sobs and tears as she squeezed the life out of her only son.

"Dear, let him breathe. Maybe you should explain yourself first, before you start crying out apologies," Robert said matter of factly, attempting to pull his wife off of Edd.

"Right, ahem, sorry. We should probably explain ourselves first," she said, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Edd looked up at his parents, who were sharing a knowing look between each other, as he tried to put the pieces together as to what his parents could honestly be going on about.

"Mother, Father?" he asked, trying to meet their gaze.

Isabel spoke first as she met her son's puzzled expression with her own concerned eyes, "Eddward, dear, you should probably take a seat. We have a lot to discuss."

Eddward sat in the loveseat facing the sofa his parents currently occupied. His mother was holding her hands and his father's hands in her lap as she rubbed her thumbs over the top of his hands before looking up at him again and then back over to meet Edd's eyes.

"What's this all about?" he said, trying not to panic. He knew this was something serious, he just couldn't figure out what.

This time Robert answered his son, his voice cool and calm, "Eddward, son. We need to talk about Kevin."

There was no way his father just said that, not that name. He must have heard him wrong. They didn't know about Kevin, he was just a neighbor that grew up with him as far as they knew. That's all he had ever led them on to believe.

Edd cocked his head to the side and furrowed his brows, "I apologize, I don't think I quite caught what you said father. Could you repeat that, please?"

"I think you heard me correctly the first time," his father said, "but I'll repeat myself. We are here to talk to you about Kevin, the boy that used to live across the street."

He tried to comprehend what they could possibly have to talk to him about concerning Kevin. "What is there to discuss? I don't understand father," he said, still utterly oblivious to the fact that they might actually know.

Isabel spoke up this time, it appeared she was still on the verge of tears, "I think you know what we are getting at," she paused as she looked at her son who still hadn't caught on, "Eddward, honey, we know everything. We know about your relationship with Kevin."

It seemed the whole world came crashing down on him as his heart fell from its place in his chest to his stomach. His eyes went wide as his parents gave him a knowing glance. Edd struggled to find his voice at first, "B-b-but how? H-how do you know? I...I never told you. You n-never came home that summer," he said, struggling to formulate coherent sentences.

"He told us," Isabel stated.

"I'm sorry, but what on earth are you talking about? When and how could he have told you?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. When did his parents talk to Kevin? How had Kevin talked to them? What exactly has happened since he left home?

Robert spoke softly, attempting to calm Edd's nerves, "The summer after your freshman year of college. We found him passed out in your room and-"

"WHAT!?" he squeaked, before clearing his throat, "I'm sorry. Ahem, what are you talking about? W-w-why was he here? What h-happened?"

"I realize this is a bit of a shock to you, but we need you to calm down and stop interrupting if want to know what happened," Isabel said, shooting her son a pointed look, "Just relax. Deep breaths. Your father and I will explain everything."

Edd couldn't speak, so he nodded as his parents filled him in on all things Kevin that had transpired in his home while he was away. How they found him completely shattered that first summer he had been away, how they helped Kevin stand on his feet again, how they gave him a place in their home, how they opened themselves up to Kevin, how he had taken care of their home, how the redhead became their second son, how they loved Kevin while Edd was away, and how the redhead and his mother were basically family now.

He found out his mother was planning on retiring early so she could stay home and his father, well he was going to be taking a new position that allowed him to do more work away from the office and thus, having the freedom to spend more time with his family. They wanted to start fresh now that he was going to be in Peach Creek, they wanted to make up to their son, and all they asked was for Edd to give them a chance again at being the parents they should have been all along.

Double D was dumbfounded. After all these years, they just didn't know how to approach their son and ask for forgiveness for their absentee parenting style. Several long months of counseling, after they discovered Kevin that summer morning, they came to the conclusion that they just needed to ask for it and take it from there one step at a time. So, Isabel and Robert waited for their son to return home to get the chance to start anew. They came to a silent agreement that they wouldn't ask for their son to come home, because they had faith that he would stop running and come to his senses eventually.

"So, this whole time he was here, waiting for me to come home? He never tried to move on, not even once?" the ravenette asked, still struggling to wrap his head around everything his parents just told him about their arrangement with the redhead.

"No, his love for you never wavered, Eddward. You should count yourself lucky, it's not very often you come across someone that dedicated to you," Robert said.

"And you're both okay with this?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't we be? I mean, sure at first the whole situation was little awkward and confusing, but Kevin has this way about him that just...hmm, how would you describe it, honey?" Isabel paused for a minute with her hand on her chin and her index finger over her lips as she stared at the ceiling before she had that 'ah-ha' moment, "I've got it. Kevin just has this way about him that makes you like him. He's...he's charismatic, it's hard not to love him, and he's just an all around good kid, Eddward honey."

Edd stared at his mother with his mouth open, he simply could not grasp what his mother just said, "W-what I mean is, neither of you care...that Kevin is male? And I'm male. You see what I'm getting at here right?"

"Son, we are more than okay with this. If anything, we're upset that you never felt comfortable enough to tell us before," Robert said, giving Isabel's hand a gentle squeeze as he shift his eyes from their son to her and then back to Edd, "We regret not being there for you, but we can't change the past and there's no use going on about it, that's not why we're all here, well it's partly why we're here. I digress, let's just move forward from here on out, as a family. But before I forget, you have something to go do don't you, Eddward?"

"What're you talking about father?"

Isabel answered before Robert could open his mouth to speak, "We spoke to Kevin about a week ago and he told us he ran into you. He told us about your dinner," her voice dipped a little in the embarrassment she could feel coming from Edd's expression, "Kevin wasn't very forthcoming with all the details, I'm sure, but he told us that dinner ended on a rather bitter note. We haven't spoken to him much since then, but we figured we should come home a little early this month to see if we could all make amends."

He just stared at his parents. It seemed that they had a rather close relationship with Kevin, a relationship in which they spoke on a regular basis and they talked about the details of the redhead's personal life. Edd couldn't help but feel just a little jealous about this.

Robert spoke again, stirring Edd from his swirling thoughts, "You see son, we come home about once a month now, and every last Sunday of the month we have dinner with Kevin and his mother, so I think you have until then to set things right with him."

"But I don't think he ever wants to speak to me again after the way I acted at dinner," Edd said, sounding rather mournful.

"You never know until you try. Why don't you go see him?" his mother said as she moved to stand next to her son, placing her hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him.

Edd looked up at his mother with tears in his eyes, "But mother, what should I say to him?" he inhaled deeply struggling to keep his breathing even as he spoke, "Th-there are no words to justify my actions, especially after all these years a-and the other night, I was...I treated him terribly. I hurt him, mother, I know I did. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. How do I fix this mess I've made?"

"Don't say anything, just show him what I know you're feeling in here," she pointed to his heart and then his forehead, "and here. And if you have to speak, just tell him the truth."

"You owe him and yourself at least that much," Robert said attempting to offer his son a warm smile, "and we will be here waiting for you, no matter the outcome, but I'm sure things will go more smoothly if you don't let that big brain of yours get in the way."

The ravenette looked up at both his parents, who were now standing in front of him. He stood and he did something he hadn't done since he was child; he hugged them. He hugged them as tightly as could and cried on their shoulders as they wrapped their arms around him. For a moment, he was happy and didn't want to let go.

Robert patted him on the back, "Okay, son. I think we've done our part," he said as they all pulled apart and Isabel held onto Edd's shoulders at arm's length, "Isabel. He needs to go do this now."

Isabel glared over at her husband as she pulled Edd back in for one last tight hug. "I know, I know," she said, offering her son another tear filled smile followed by a breathy chuckle, "go get him, son. He's waiting for you." She gestured behind him at the window she had been staring out of for the last 5 minutes.

Edd looked out the window to see what his mother had been staring at and could see the redhead parked on the street. He was leaning against his bike, obviously waiting for him to come out. His parents had set him up, though he was too nervous about seeing the redhead again to be mad at them.

* * *

 _I've been sittin' on this chapter for a few days now, because I had a really hard time finding a good stopping point...so, meh, not really happy with this ending, but ya'll know I gotta leave you hangin' some way...hehe_

 _Anyways, thanks to everyone that keeps reading and reviewing...it really means a lot to me and keeps me pushing forward, so yeah, thanks a ton! XD_

 _Song inspiration for this chapter is Oh Well, Oh Well by Mayday Parade (yup, I dug into some teenage angst for this, heh) and I got a little stuck about half-way through so, I switched it up to some reggaeton and got my groove back! Yay! So yeah, I'm hoping the next chapter will be born soon...please bare with me, tehe._


	7. Degrees of Separation

_**A/N:**_

 _Hey guys! I know it been a bit, but y'all know I'm awful about updating in a timely fashion *laughs nervously*_

 _So anyways, here's the next chapter!_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy or any of its characters. This story is of my own original thoughts inspired by music!_

* * *

Edd stared out the window yearningly, this was finally his chance, he thought as he felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder. He turned to see his father offering him a warm smile and a knowing nod; the dad look. He smiled lovingly at both his parents, this is exactly what he had wanted from them all those years ago and now, he was finally getting it.

"Now go, before he decides to leave," his mother said trying to push him out the front door.

"Wait," he said, ducking underneath Isabel's arms that were shoving him, "there's something I need to get from my room."

Isabel and Robert shared a confused look, but before they got the chance to ask what was so important, their son had already made it halfway up the stairs.

He made a mad dash up to his room shoving the door open so hard there was probably a hole in the wall behind the door from the knob. As soon as he was inside, he snatched off his cardigan and replaced it with the jean jacket. Edd glanced over at the mirror in front of his closet door, he swore he saw his younger self there for a moment and not his current self. He looked different now; he had definitely filled in the jacket more than he did then. The shoulders were still too big, but it fit him better now. Rather than looking like a boy wearing a jacket that belonged to someone much larger, he felt like he looked like the "badass" Kevin used to claim he looked like, and he sort of felt like it, too. Edd needed it now, he needed that confidence the redhead would ooze when he used to wear it. Maybe there was something to the jean jacket after all, he thought.

And he was out the door, ignoring his parents about running as he hopped around trying to put his shoes on as quickly as he could. The genius stood on the porch, eyes locked on the redhead in front of him, and he got this overwhelming urge to run into the redhead and shower him with sweet, sweet kisses. But he didn't, he just stared at him and then he looked up from the interesting pebble the redhead had been shuffling with his foot.

Their eyes met, Edd began to cry as he stood still at the sight of his redhead.

Everything stopped.

After what seemed like hours, Kevin made the first move, closing the distance between them in a few wide strides as he wrapped his arms tightly, yet lovingly, around the genius.

Edd gave into the warmth of the embrace almost immediately. Lord, knows he missed Kevin's warm hugs. He took in as much of the redhead's scent as each inhale could hold. All the words he wanted to say were caught behind the sobs that escaped his lips.

"K-K-Kevin, I-I'm so...so s-sorry! Ple-please forgive me," he cried to the point of hyperventilating.

"Shh, shh," Kevin said softly, carefully petting the back of the genius' head, "it's okay, babe. I know."

Though every fiber of his being said not to, Edd jerked away from Kevin's comforting arms and stared directly into the redhead's evergreen eyes, "No, i-it's not ok-kay," he hiccupped as he balled up his fists to rub at his eyes, "I messed up s-s-so bad, Kevin. It can't j-just be fixed like th-that. I-I-I...hurt you, so b-bad." He ended with his head hung in shame and sniffling.

Kevin wondered for a moment if he should hug the ravenette again and kiss him senseless, but changed his mind, instead he lifted Edd's chin until he was looking up at him. He held him there briefly before he spoke, "Then tell me what happened, Edd. Tell me why. Tell me the truth. Why did you l-l-leave, babe?" the redhead's voice broke as tears started running down his cheeks, "Why d-did you do this to us? It wasn't just me, Edd, it was us th-that got hurt," he let go of his chin and pressed their foreheads together, "Where did you go?"

Edd started crying all over again, he couldn't bare to see Kevin like this. Not like this, not as broken as he was. Kevin was the strong one, the one that was there for him to lean on. Now they were both falling apart and he didn't know if he could hold them both up.

The redheaded wiped the tears away as quickly as they fell, before wrapping his arm securely around Edd's shoulders, "C'mon, let's go somewhere," he paused, waiting for the genius to object. And when he didn't he led Double D towards his bike.

He let go of the ravenette once they stood in front of his bike and proceeded to hand him the extra helmet Edd hadn't noticed before.

"How'd you know?" the genius asked, looking up at the redhead owlishly.

Kevin shrugged, "I didn't, but a guy can hope, right?" he offered Edd a half smile.

Edd avoided the redhead's gaze; he could feel Kevin's eyes on him as he put on the spare helmet. He stood there, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed about getting on the bike with Kevin. Double D watched Kevin get on the bike with ease; he could tell the redhead never stopped riding as his comfort with the bike still showed.

He looked over at Edd who still hadn't gotten on the bike, "You can get on now." Kevin patted the seat behind him hoping the ravenette wouldn't back out.

Double D shook his head at all the memories flooding through him, he remembered all the rides they used to take together, but one ride in particular stuck out at him. It was the first ride up to Peach Hill where Kevin confessed to him. He tried to look back fondly, but somehow it all hurt right now.

"I'm sorry Kevin, I just got lost in thought for a moment," he paused, hoping Kevin wouldn't inquire further. He swung his leg over the bike, grabbing Kevin's shoulder for support.

"You can tell me all about it when we get there," he said loudly as he brought the bike beneath them to life, "Now hold on."

"Wh-where are we going, Kevin?" Edd asked, embarrassed about having to hold Kevin so intimately.

Kevin turned around to see Edd's face, "It's a surprise, dork." And he winked at him just like he did on that day all those years ago.

Edd felt his heart sink with guilt into the pit of his stomach as Kevin took off, leaving the cul-de-sac in a blur behind them.

It was like that day was happening all over again.

Kevin turned off the main road onto the dirt frontage road that eventually turned into the rocky trail that lead up to their spot on the hill.

The whole ride Edd tried not to think about how similar and yet, how different, the current situation was to then. He tried not to feel the happiness he had felt that day as he let the guilt continue to sink in. He knew he needed to explain himself to Kevin, to mend the hurt of the past, but he wasn't sure if Kevin was still keen on starting over romantically, or just platonically. He hoped for the former, even though it hurt him to hope so.

Kevin, on the other hand, was still a ball of nerves like he had been then. He was very aware of Double D's arms around him at each turn he made and he hoped they would be the only ones around him forever. But he had to be guarded, he couldn't let himself get hurt all over again. Edd disappeared, he reminded himself, for 8 years.

"Who does that?," he thought cautiously.

He wondered if Edd had been wracked with guilt since he left or, if it had been easy for him to leave the redhead. Kevin attempted to push the thoughts of doubt aside; he just had to hear what Edd was going to say and see what was going to happen next.

They pulled up the top of the hill next to the same old oak tree. Edd could feel a smile start on his lips; the memories were sweet, but left with a bitter taste. Kevin let him climb off the bike first, lending his shoulder for support, before he get off, too.

Edd removed the helmet and handed it to Kevin, who was pulling out an old quilt from his saddle bag. The redhead unfolded the blanket and whipped it in the air a few times before letting it fall gently to the ground in their old spot. Double D thought the spot still looked worn out with hardly any grass growing there from all the times they had spent just sitting and talking. He blushed slightly remembering all the other things they had done there, too.

Kevin sat first, he looked up at Edd, who still wondering if this was all a good idea, and patted the spot next to him. "C'mon, sit with me."

Double D looked down at him rather tentatively before sitting down cross legged next to the redhead as far as comfortably possible.

He heard Kevin sigh very audibly followed by a deep inhale that made Kevin's chest rise significantly. He found himself staring, but the redhead was too fixated on something in the distance to notice. Edd tried to stare off, but couldn't focus on anything except the tightening feeling in the pit of his stomach that was laced with guilt still. He wanted Kevin to yell or get angry with him, or something. He deserved it, he thought, but here he was with the redhead he desperately wished to make amends with, just gazing off in the distance like no big deal.

"Kevin?" his voice wavering.

"Yeah, Edd?" he answered, still focused on whatever he had been looking at.

Double D jumped slightly at the gravel of his voice. God had he missed it, "What...what are we doing up here, Kevin?"

Kevin chuckled, bowing his head down, remembering Edd say almost those exact words to him. He finally met his gaze, "I don't know, what do you wanna do up here?"

"I-I don't know what you mean exactly, Kevin?"

He watched Edd pick anxiously at his fingers and the hem of the jacket. Kevin thought hopelessly, damn, he still looks sexy as hell in that jacket.

"Well, where do you wanna go from here, babe?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the wide blue ones.

Double D blushed a deep crimson at the pet name. He had heard him say it earlier, but was too upset to react to it. Now, there was no distractions and he heard very clearly this time. He tried to look away, but something kept him drawn into the evergreen eyes that belonged to the redhead. He could only look down at himself for a few seconds before flicking his eyes back up to his. He tried to think about anything other than the redhead in front of him, but couldn't, and then he remembered he was wearing the jean jacket and was reminded of the courage he felt when he put it on earlier.

He took in a deep breath, attempting to steady his increased heart rate, "I want to apologize," he said, keeping his voice even, "for all the pain that I caused you...a-a-and explain why I did what I did. You don't have to forgive me, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I hope someday you will. And that's it. That's what I want."

"That's it?" Kevin asked, cocking a brow. He leaned back on one hand as the other rested on his own knee.

Edd let out a shuddering breath, "Y-yes. I think I owe you that much."

Kevin looked away, shaking his head as he let out a breathy sigh, "I asked what you want. Not what you owe me, D."

He stared at the redhead in front of him, how could he tell Kevin that he wanted them to be together again, that he wanted to fix everything and go back to the way they used to be, that he is still madly in love with him even after all these years, and that he wanted Kevin to love him like Edd still loves him? He couldn't tell him that. Not the truth...the truth, Edd remembered his mother giving him that bit of advice not even an hour ago, to just tell Kevin the truth.

"I can't tell you what I want, Kevin," he couldn't look him in the eye as he spoke, "I can't."

Kevin shifted next to him, sitting up straight now. He placed his hand on Edd's knee trying to get his attention, "And why not? Why can't you tell me what you want, huh?"

Still looking away from the redhead, he spoke in a whisper, "I don't deserve you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I just don't. I messed up, Kevin," he said matter of factly, meeting the redhead's worried eyes. Tears started to pull at the corners of the genius' eyes.

"D, you can't hold on to guilt like that," he reached to hold Edd's cheek, but he turned away from it, "What's done is done. You can't change that. We can talk about this. Edd...Edd, listen to me. We can work this out."

Edd pulled his knees into his chest, wrapping his arms as tightly as he could around his legs as he rested his chin on his knees, tears still coming down steadily. He turned his head away from the redhead and shut his eyes tight.

"Edd, babe, look at me...please."

He still wouldn't meet Kevin's gaze.

The redhead pried his hands from around his legs and held them away from the body they belonged to. "Listen to me!" he yelled, "Look at me, Edd, baby, please! J-just stop fighting us…"

That got the genius' attention.

"He said, 'us,'" he thought.

He stopped crying and was sniffling while being forced to look Kevin in the eyes.

Kevin let his hands go. He reached for Edd's face, this time he didn't turn away. He let Kevin run his thumb over his cheekbone and then the other hand was on the opposite side of his face, doing the same. He shuddered at the warmth as he closed his eyes slowly, giving in to the redhead's touch.

"I was just so scared things would go bad for us," Double D sighed.

"Why would think that, huh? Did you think I would hurt you?"

Edd nodded.

"I would never do that to you, D. I was serious. I told you I loved you and I wanted to stay together."

He could see Kevin was the one fighting off tears now as he pulled away from Edd, not looking in his direction anymore.

"But I hurt you, right?" Edd asked cautiously. He didn't want to ask, but he had to say it.

"Yes, but," Kevin paused, looking for the right words, "no. Yes, it hurt. It hurt like hell, Edd. It was a nightmare I thought I was never going to wake up from. You don't know how many times I came home expecting to see you in my room waiting for me. But that's not the point."

Edd watched Kevin closely. "What's the point then?"

The redhead sighed, "The point is I know you hurt, too."

He just stared at the redhead with a confused look on his face.

"Look, I don't know why you left without telling me or why you never tried getting in contact with me after, I just assumed you had your reasons and that you had probably moved on. But I dunno, something always told me you'd come back, somehow. And that had nothing to do with your parents," he scrubbed his hand over his face, "Honestly, becoming close with your parents was kind of a coincidence and afterwards, became selfish on my part. I thought they'd eventually tell you to come home or something, but I guess the guilt was too much for them, too."

"I just thought…," Edd looked into those green eyes that bore into him, "I thought it was better that way. My parents didn't care about seeing me, why would you? I didn't want to drag things out long distance, oceans in between, it just would have been too much, for the both of us."

"You were overseas?" Kevin asked, surprised that his genius hadn't even been on the same continent as him this entire time.

Edd nodded, "I was in London and I wouldn't trade that experience for the world."

He tapped the fingers of his left hand on the ground in front of him. Kevin thought it looked like he was imagining playing a piano or something. He wanted to know what had whisked his dork all the way to London for 8 years.

"Tell me about it?" Kevin asked, genuine interest played in his voice.

"You really want to know? I mean, I've never shared this with anyone before. It's sort of my secret," Edd answered nervously.

Kevin smiled that charming grin that Edd had fallen in love with it, "Yeah, I wanna know all about it."

They melted into an easy conversation and it was like the whole world had disappeared around them. Edd told Kevin everything about London, how he played with the Philharmonic, the friends he'd made, he even told him about Austin and could see what appeared to be a bit of jealousy play across the redhead's face, and he told Kevin about everything in between, about his dream come true. He told Kevin about his injury and the viola that was now collecting dust in his closet.

Kevin could see the melancholy in Edd's eyes, and he wished he could help the genius with his injury, but he informed him it was too late, he'd never be able to play like he had. And it was awful to witness the defeat in the genius' eyes. He just couldn't believe that Double D had hidden his talent and passion from everyone, especially him. He wondered how anyone could tuck away something that made them feel so...so much life. He simply didn't understand Edd's method there, if it had been him he'd show the world what he could do at any given opportunity and then some, but, he realized, that wasn't in Edd's nature.

Edd shined in a different way than him, and he loved that about him, the way his eyes would brighten when he went into detail about something he was knowledgeable in, well that was almost everything school-related, he thought, but there was just something about the way he would get excited over math or biology. He wondered what he looked like when he played, he wished he could see Edd play. It's not like he said he couldn't play anymore, just that he couldn't play as rigorously as he used to, so a few songs couldn't hurt, right?

"Hey, uh, Edd, could you play for me?"

Edd flickered his eyes across Kevin's features, trying to understand what he had just asked of him.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Kevin smirked at Edd's adorably confused face. "Play for me, dork."

No one had ever asked him to play for them, unless there was a reason, but never for the sole purpose of listening for enjoyment. He was stunned to say the least.

"Um, well, I don't know, Kevin. I haven't played since I got here and...and I don't know, I guess. My wrist hasn't been bothering me, so yeah? I guess, I could play for you."

Kevin could tell Edd was flustered by the sudden request, but figured it was worth it. Edd was picking at the hems of the sleeves of the jean jacket. Kevin just wanted to lay everything out on the table, he wanted to scoop Edd up in his arms and kiss him silly, but he knew Edd was struggling with his guilt still, and he would just make it worse. But Kevin was ready to start the rest of his life with the dork, God was he ready. He bit his bottom lip just imagining what their life could be.

The physical distance between them was killing the redhead, he just wanted to skip to the part where they are together again. He inhaled deeply.

"So D, where does this leave us?"

Edd dared a glance before answering the redhead, "I...I'm afraid that's a rather loaded question, Kevin. What is it that you want?"

He reached for the genius' hand and held it gently before bringing it to his face. He placed soft pecks on each knuckle before he looked up at Edd's doe eyed expression, lips slightly parted, making that adorable gap visible.

"This, this is what I want, Edd. I want us to be together again, but only if you want to."

Kevin let their joined hands fall in the space between them, still holding the other, as he rubbed his thumb over the top of Edd's hand. He looked at Edd, whose eyes were glued to their hands. He wished he could get inside his head, know what he was thinking, because he knew the ravenette was struggling to find the right words.

Edd pulled his hand from under Kevin's, wrapping it around his knees again.

"Are you sure this is what you really want? After everything?" he asked, avoiding the redhead's piercing gaze.

"If you want it, too," Kevin said, trying to gauge Edd's reaction, "Just tell me what you want. I can take it."

He still couldn't look the redhead in his eyes, and opted for shutting his eyes tight. Everything he said next came out in a single rushed breathe, "I want to be with you, too."

Suddenly, the genius was being enveloped in strong arms carrying a familiar scent and he let himself give in to the guilty pleasure that was his Kevin.

"Oh Edd, you don't know how long I've waited to hear those words," he whispered into the crook of the genius' neck. He nuzzled closer, savoring the smell that was truly Edd's as he pulled him into his lap.

Edd had missed this dearly, but he needed to make sure things were clear between them; he needed Kevin to say it. He pulled back from the comforting arms, "Kevin, I want to know that you're sure of this? Of pursuing a relationship again. That's what you meant, right?"

He chuckled at his dork's awkwardness, he always did need to spell things out for him. He placed his hand on the side of Edd's face and rubbed his thumb lovingly over his cheek.

"Yes, dork. I want to be with you. For good this time," he said, leveling him a semi-threatening look that completely contradicted his shit eating grin and bright pink cheeks. "This is all I've ever wanted, babe."

"Me too, Kevin."

Edd pulled him into a tight hug this time and made a silent promise to himself to never let go.

The sun was barely visible above the horizon and soon it would be dark, but neither boy wanted to leave. Edd was sitting in between Kevin's legs, both of the redhead's arms were firmly wrapped around the genius' middle. Edd's back was flush with Kevin's chest and Kevin's chin was resting on his shoulder, their cheeks pressed together.

"As much as I don't want to, but we should get going. Ma is probably worried," Kevin said reluctantly.

"Ma?" Edd giggled.

"Yeah, she's my ma, too, ya'know," Kevin stated, smiling down at Edd.

They got up and tucked the blanket back into the saddle bags. Kevin got on the bike first and helped Edd climb on behind him. He made sure the genius was on properly before taking off.

This ride was definitely more comfortable than earlier; this time Double D held on tightly and took in all of the redhead that he could. They both had missed their rides together, more than either boy could put into words, but all the soft touches and gentle squeezes could speak for themselves.

Before they knew it, they were back in the cul-de-sac in Edd's driveway. Kevin cut the engine before climbing off the bike to join Edd. They stood facing each other, just staring for a few moments.

Edd finally spoke first, "When can I see you again?"

Kevin was a little shocked to hear Edd ask him out first, he was sure he was going to have to beg the genius to see him tomorrow.

"Uh, tomorrow? I mean, that is if you're free? I guess, if you want?" Kevin stuttered, trying not to sound too forward.

"I'd like that," Edd said, looking into those green eyes he loved desperately, "Let's go to our spot again."

Kevin couldn't help but grin that shit-eating grin at the genius' request.

"Sure."

Double D jumped with excitement as he wrapped his arms tightly around the redhead's neck, pulling him down into a kiss that neither one was expecting.

It was soft and sweet and too short for Kevin's liking, but it happened. It shocked the hell outta him, but he liked. It was a huge step for the both of them.

Before Kevin could react properly to the kiss, the genius was already at his front door waving goodbye to him.

Kevin headed home with the world's biggest smile and a blush so pink it should have stained his skin.

* * *

 _So I've been done with this for like 2 weeks now, but I couldn't figure out how to end it, so yeah there it is._

 _What'cha think?_

 _This is not **The End** , but it's coming...there's going to be more, not sure how much more, but at least one more chapter. Maaaaaaybe 2. No promises, but there will be one. Might be a bit though, cause school and work are getting hectic for me, but __I'll try to update soon._

 _Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing. All your reviews give me life! :3_

 _Song inspiration is Degrees of Separation by Hands Like Houses._


End file.
